


Alterations of the Past

by xlxharlequinxlx



Category: Rurouni Kenshin
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-02 11:55:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10217477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xlxharlequinxlx/pseuds/xlxharlequinxlx
Summary: Dishonored and disowned for fleeing her arranged marriage, Kaoru finds herself wandering alone.  These are dangerous times.  The revolution is heading towards the end, but the streets are far from safe.  Caught up in a bad situation and taken in by the Chōshū Ishin-Shishi she meets none other than Himura Kenshin, a quiet, cold man who inadvertently spared her an awful fate.  She doesn’t yet know that her savior harbors a dark secret.





	1. A Different Fate

**Author's Note:**

> This alternate time line will intervene Kenshin ever being involved with Tomoe save for having killed her fiancé’. 
> 
> If you’re looking for something mega-canon story line wise, you should look elsewhere.
> 
> This fic focuses heavily on Kenshin’s beginning inner turmoil as a Hitokiri, and becoming disenchanted with the part he plays in the revolution.
> 
> Mostly In Character.
> 
> Probably One of Two Shot.

The weather was changing.  The hard, bitter cold days of winter had passed in to the beginnings of spring.  There were many days of rain, and tonight was no different.  The chill was still present, and they were a few months away from warm summer evenings.

What had possessed him to do such a thing, he could not be sure.  Perhaps it was the effect of his most recent mission.  Usually his victims did not stay with him, but that man’s will to live… his unfaltering resolve to stay alive and marry his woman… it was unsettling to say the least.  The hitokiri had been distracted ever since then, avoiding the inn and his contractor for a few days.  It was perhaps why he had been in the right place at the right time…

The girl…

Kaoru.

She gave no last name.

The spark she had when trying to defend herself from the two men that had jumped her had fizzled and died the moment she was no longer in danger.  Being a well-known assassin had its advantages.  The mere sight of his red hair and amber eyes were enough to send the low life’s running.  They were slavers, sex traffickers that preyed on small children and young women. 

Disgusting…

She was unharmed, and despite the ordeal she had just been through, was surprisingly calm.

“You should be at home…”  Was all Kenshin had said to her, prepared to leave her in that alley.  The danger had passed; surely she could get to safety on her own now.

“I have none,” was her quiet reply, sapphire blue eyes meeting his without hesitation. 

Didn’t she know who he was?  What he was?  His cold expression did not waver as he returned her gaze.  He could hardly stand it the way she was looking at him.  The Battousai couldn’t recall the last time someone had looked at him as though he were a normal person… as though he were just like everyone else… as though he was not a killer.  Something inside him softened.  He could not control it.  She was innocent.  It was for people like her that he was killing in the first place, so that the new world could become a reality.

“What is your name?”  He asked.

“Kaoru,” was her reply.  She offered no more information than that.  “Yours?”

“Kenshin…” the assassin replied after several minutes of silence.  Why was he still here? 

“I have no place to stay,” Kaoru admitted.  She had been alone for many months now and it showed in the way she curled in to herself, prepared to sleep where she sat.  Her shoulders were shaking as she shivered, her thin frame no longer tolerating the elements as well as it used to.  How she survived the winter was beyond her.

“You can’t stay here…”  Kenshin began, turning away from her and beginning to walk away.

A spark of defiance flared to life in her eyes.  Did he not hear what she had said?  She didn’t have anywhere else to be.

“Follow me… or don’t… it makes no difference,” Kenshin called over his shoulder, not disappointed when after a few moments of silent contemplation he heard her get to her feet. 

So it was that they were walking, not quite side by side, to the Ikedaya inn.  She stayed just behind him as if to keep the option of running from him an ever present possibility.  If she weren’t a fool, she would be at his side, within easy reach to deter anyone from coming too close to her.  It didn’t matter much; no one would dare come within a five foot radius of the Demon of Kyoto. 

Kenshin grit his teeth.  This is the life he had chosen for himself.  He was beginning to wonder if he had been making the right choices.  _Dammit…_ that man’s image and that of his fiancé’ crying over his corpse began to wheedle away at the assassin’s carefully constructed defenses.  He would have killed himself ages ago were it not for his promise to help Katsura.

Kaoru had made a small noise, clearing her throat.  Was she crying?  He could not bring himself to look at her.  The Battousai did not deserve this innocent girl’s company.  Perhaps he was vying for just a taste of normalcy.  To have her look upon him as she had earlier, and not see the assassin, but see the young man hiding underneath. 

_Please see me…_

His nerves were shot.  He needed to recover.  Katsura would need him, and his fraying sanity was not going to cut it.

Another sniffle…  Yes.  She was crying.  Chancing a look over his shoulder he felt a fracture in the frozen ice barrier he kept himself isolated in.  Amber eyes mellowed to a warm violet.

“I… I’m sorry,” she stuttered, quickly wiping her eyes with the back of her dirtied kimono sleeve.  “I’ve just… been alone…  It’s been so long since anyone took notice of me… without… with-“  She couldn’t finish her sentence.

“You don’t have to apologize…”  Kenshin said gently, startling even himself.  He had forgotten he was even capable of speaking delicately to someone.  A strange need to protect her was prickling at the back of his mind.  He _had_ wanted to help the helpless.  That _had_ been his original intent…instead; he was just a cold blooded murderer.

* * *

“Himura, where have you…” 

Katsura had been waiting in the room Kenshin had been calling home the past few months.  The younger man was unsurprised.  The “staff” had probably reported that he had not returned for several days.

Whatever Katsura was about to say died on his lips as he caught sight of the young woman trailing in behind his assassin.  She returned the rebellion leader’s gaze warily, her expression jaded as though she expected him to deny her the small comfort she had found in the strange young man who had taken her under his wing.  It was unclear if the step she took to retreat reflexively behind Kenshin was out of fear or a learned caution.  She did not seem to be scared.  Then again, if she wasn’t afraid of the man she had just walked in with, there probably wasn’t anything that could frighten her.  Unless… she was unaware of whom he was.

“Taking in strays?”  Katsura asked.

“She had nowhere else to go,” Kenshin responded, avoiding directly answering his question.

“Well, have you fed her yet?  She’s nothing but skin and bones.”  Katsura took a purposeful step to the side to further assess the girl’s appearance.   Dark black hair, captivating blue eyes… she would be more attractive once she was cleaned and fattened up a bit.  She must have been on the run for some time.  She was guarded.  It was then he realized that she had purposely placed Kenshin between herself and him so that she could easily flee should the occasion call for it. 

“Listen, you don’t have anything to worry about,” Katsura attempted to soothe her, but it was not he whom she sought reassurance from.  Her questioning glance landed on the assassin, and he merely nodded.  It was almost laughable the way she relaxed.  Clearly she did not know what Kenshin was, that she had blindly placed her faith in a killer for hire.  Regret instantly followed that train of thought.  It was his fault that Kenshin was the way he was.  The girl would find out soon enough.  Perhaps this was his intent after all.  To enjoy her before she was ruined by the truth and ran from him.

“If it’s agreeable to you Himura, I will make arrangements for her,” Katsura said.

“Do whatever you see fit,” Kenshin replied, moving further in to the room, the girl following him like a little shadow. 

“Please don’t,” Kaoru said quietly, tugging on her companion’s sleeve.  “A place to sleep tonight out of the cold is more than I could ever ask for.”

“Consider it done,” Katsura said.  “I will talk to you tomorrow.”  The tone in his voice left no room for argument.  Though he was curious about the circumstances surrounding Kenshin meeting the young girl, he would let it go for tonight.

Even executioners needed love.

* * *

How long had it been since she had a nice warm bath?  Kaoru’s mind was hazy as she allowed herself a rare moment of relaxation.  Images of her father and of her intended husband flashed painfully behind closed lids.  She would never forget the look of disappointment on his face for as long as she lived; the cold chill that seized her soul as he cast her out, not a daughter, but a disgrace.

Instead of dwelling on such things, she chose to analyze her actions that evening.  What had made her follow a stranger home?  Was she really so desperate, so lonely?  Maybe it was that he didn’t look at her with pity, or expectations of physical favors, or maybe it was that she sensed his own crippling loneliness.  There was a gentle soul under his cold exterior; she just knew it.

Freshly clothed and dressed, she made her way back to the room.  There was a hot meal waiting for her and futon unrolled a safe distance away from his own.  After being rejected so painfully by her own family, tears stung her eyes at the kindness of this stranger.  She caught sight of him sitting in the corner of the room, gazing out the window.  Not knowing what else to do, she bowed down on her knees, her head so low that he could see the crown of her hair.

“There is nothing I can do to repay you-” she began.

“That’s not why I brought you here,” Kenshin cut her off sharply.  He did not deserve her thanks.  

“Then why?”  She asked, startled by the harshness in his tone.

Kenshin did not respond.  How could he explain to her that after all of the killing it made him feel slightly more human to help another person, that maybe there was still a small piece of his soul left that was still salvageable. 

Kaoru let the subject drop, turning to eat the warm meal before her.  She was not accustomed to such large portions and had barely finished half of the plate before looking to her silent companion once again.

“Did you eat?  I can’t finish this,” Kaoru said, seeming almost embarrassed.

“How long has it been since you’ve had a decent meal?”  Kenshin asked her.  He instantly regretted the question because she looked stricken, as though he had physically harmed her.  The tears brimming in her eyes ate away at his soul.  Even when he was trying to help he caused pain.  “Forget I asked…”

“No, it’s okay…”  Kaoru began, quickly regaining her composure.  “Like I said earlier, I’ve been alone for quite some time…” 

Kenshin nodded at her answer, seeming hesitant to ask her anything else.  She seemed unsure of how much information she wanted to disclose, and he couldn’t say he blamed her.  They barely knew each other. 

“You should rest…”  Kenshin offered.  Kaoru was put at ease with the placating tone he used, and she nodded her agreement.

“Good night, Kenshin,” she murmured, the only sign that he had heard what she said was the subtle nod he gave her before returning his attentions back out the window to the night sky.

The assassin watched as the girl slept.  She was restless for the better part of an hour before her exhaustion got to her.  It was probably more likely because she was sharing a room with a stranger than because she was worried about propriety.  Destitute women wandering the streets generally had more to worry about than what society thought of them. 

Unlike Kaoru, he would not be sleeping tonight.  He was not nearly exhausted enough to delve back in to the hell-scape of his nightmares.  It was enough for now to enjoy the presence of another person.  She would likely leave him in the morning.

* * *

 “So… basically, you don’t know anything about her other than her name?  Not even her entire name,” Katsura deduced from the few shorts sentences of explanation Kenshin had given him the following morning. 

“I don’t see how it matters,” Kenshin had replied.

“No, I suppose it doesn’t, but how can you be sure she won’t turn against you when she finds out the role you play in the revolution?”  The older man prodded.

“I can’t… but I can’t… continue to do nothing but kill,” the assassin bit out through a clenched jaw.

Katsura was surprised by the rare show of emotion; he waved his hand in a dismissive gesture.

“Perhaps she will be good for your sanity then.  I can get her a job at the inn if you determine her intentions are to stay in the area… _or_ if her intentions are to stay with you,” he finished, a brow raised in question.

Kenshin scoffed.  Who in their right mind would knowingly stay with a murderer?

“It is likely she is already gone,” Kenshin replied, turning to leave.

_For your sake, I surely hope not…_

* * *

 “Oh!  Good morning!”  Kaoru greeted Kenshin when he returned.  She was already like a completely different person from the night before.  “I didn’t know if you ate anything, I saved you some breakfast.”

Kenshin had paused, bewildered by her change in attitude.  She was smiling at him expectantly, and he had no idea on how to respond to her.  He was unaccustomed to someone thinking about him.

“I thought you would have gone,” Kenshin admitted quietly, noting the way her happy expression melted away in to one of concern.

“I see… I… I can go,” the girl said hurriedly.  Of course he wouldn’t want some vagrant waif hanging around.

“You don’t have to leave,” Kenshin responded quickly, almost too quickly.  “I just didn’t expect you to wait on me.”

“Well, it’s the least I could do, you saved me yesterday,” Kaoru replied.

The shocked look on his face was almost comical; he was clearly unused to such praise.  It was a welcomed change from the distraught cries of the loved ones left behind by his victims. 

“You said you didn’t have anywhere to go,” the assassin started.

“Yes, that’s right.  I was… well… disowned…  is the best way to describe it.  Ever since then I’ve just been… wandering…” Kaoru explained.  “My father put me out…”

“Then it is his loss,” Kenshin replied intensely.  “To purposely throw away something so precious is foolish indeed.”

Kaoru seemed taken aback by his response.  Usually she was met with judgment and ridicule for not being the perfect, obedient daughter.

“Thank you,” she responded.

Kenshin nodded.  Having lost his own family to illness at such a young age had ingrained a deep sense of appreciation for that which he could not have.  He couldn’t imagine that anything that she would have said or done would be worth her own family abandoning her.   He wanted to ask her, but he also didn’t want to push her.  If she wanted to tell him, she would.  It’s not as though he wasn’t harboring his own secrets.  Lying through omission was still lying.

* * *

 The pair had carried on like that for the next week, slowly learning more about each other.  Kaoru wasn’t as deft as she pretended to be.  Despite going from strangers to almost friends, Kenshin still kept her at arm’s length.  She wondered if it was because he didn’t want to associate too closely with someone like her, someone without ties, with no honor or last name.  She didn’t realize it then how wrong she was.

True to his word, Katusra had gotten Kaoru a job at the inn in the kitchens.  She would eventually have her own room once arrangements were made with the current staff, but until then she stayed with Kenshin.  It didn’t seem to bother her; she was getting comfortable around him and was content with her situation.  Almost anything was better than sleeping on the streets.

They had a comfortable routine in place by the time Kenshin got his next assignment.  He assumed that Katsura had done so on purpose to allow him time to get the girl settled.  She had been very quick to get attached to the assassin; something that intrigued the rebellion leader, and led to a dull panic in the back of Kenshin’s mind.  The latter worried more and more what she would think when she would undoubtedly find out.  He tried to deny how soothing it was to have her around, someone who just saw him as the young man, not the assassin.  Another piece of him would surely perish when she left him; lost to the darkness within.

* * *

 Kaoru was sure she wasn’t mean to overhear the cooks as they gossiped about her behind her back.

“Didn’t you know?  She’s been staying with one of Katsura’s assassins…” One whispered to the other.

“Kaoru?  I don’t know if I believe that, she seems like a really nice girl… why would she get caught up with someone like him?”  The other asked.

“I don’t think she knows who he is…” The one replied.

“That’s… just tragic…” The other lamented.

Kaoru paused in the doorway, stepping slowly back out so that they would not know that she was there.  Sure, she had her suspicions about the kind of work her roommate had been doing, but there was no way that her Kenshin was one of the legendary hitokiri that was working for the revolution.  He was… well… he was a little cold at first, but now?  He was really the only friend she had.  When other provisions had been made for her to stay with the other female staff, she had refused.  It wasn’t proper for her to continue to live with a man, but she didn’t really care.  She didn’t believe for a second that he would ever hurt her, and she just… couldn’t bring herself to be separated from him.

Kenshin was out more and more often, sometimes not returning until the next evening.  Not once did she question him, always welcoming him with a smile.  He had always been extra careful, cleaning up before coming back to greet her.  He felt almost like a normal person when he was with her, but like all good things… it must come to an end.  She had decided that she would confront him tomorrow evening about the rumors she had been hearing.

_…but what if they’re true…?_

 

* * *

_July 8 th, 1846_

* * *

The day had been uneventful.

Kaoru had finished up her shift and was waiting patiently for Kenshin.  She was becoming more and more aware of the secretive glances shot in her direction.  She didn’t like drama and just wanted to hear the truth from him.

The first indication she had of anything being wrong was the sound of yelling coming from down the hall.  It put her on edge.  Kenshin was later than usual.  The commotion made its way closer and closer to her.  It sounded like a herd of cattle stampeding, tearing apart each room that they came in to contact with.

_Shing!_

Before she had the chance to hide, the shoji door was sliced open and a group of men were surrounding her.  She was immediately on the defensive, throwing anything she could find at them.

“I don’t think she’s one, but she may know his whereabouts.  They were seen together often the past few months,” the leader said, easily knocking away the shoe she had just chucked at his face.

The man had a predatory look to him, resembling a wolf circling his prey.

“Answer, and no harm shall come to you,” Saito said.

“ _Who are you people_?” Kaoru asked, her eyes darting around to formulate a plan of escape.  She probably couldn’t push past them… She was going to have to jump out of the window.

“Hn… we are the Shinsengumi third squad.  If you are innocent then you need not worry,” Saito explained.

“I don’t understand,” Kaoru replied.

“This inn has been the base of operations for the rebellion…”  One of the other members explained. 

Kaoru was unnerved by the way their leader continued to stare her down, as if he were trying to read her mind.

“You’ve been seen with Hitokiri Battousai… Tell me his whereabouts and you can go free.”

“ _Who?_ You mean Kenshin?”  Kaoru was completely miffed by this new turn of events.  This was a raid, and if the feeling in her gut was any indication, she suddenly knew the rumors to be true.  “I don’t know who you’re referring to; I don’t know anyone by that name…”

“Don’t make me kill you,” Saito said, his deep voice steady, leaving no trace of doubt that he would.  “We will put an end to this with or without your evidence.” 

Kaoru’s eyes widened as she took a step back, her fingernails digging so hard in to the skin of her palms that she drew blood.  It was either be killed, or jump out the nearest window... and honestly, the window plan was looking better and better.

“So be it…” Saito said.  “If you are not on the side of the righteous then you are on the side of evil…”

Kaoru gasped, the next several minutes a blur of motion as Saito ducked down.  He was going to kill her.  This is where she would die.  No one would even think twice about her disappearance…  No one would claim her corpse…  Her eyes clenched shut, tears clinging to her lashes as she braced herself for death.

Saito moved forward in a flash, she didn’t stand a chance, but the blow never came.  She was showered in blood but it was not her own.  When she dared to open her eyes, several of Saito’s men were fallen and Kenshin had appeared in front of her.

“Kenshin…?”  Kaoru whispered breathily.  She thought for sure she was going to faint.  Suddenly she saw him for what everyone else did.  He was covered in blood himself, his sword dripping the sticky red substance on to the floor. 

She was going to be sick. 

It was true. 

He was the assassin. 

Amber eyes were trained on his opponent, and he was _terrifying_.

“Battousai, surrender now or face the consequences,” Saito commanded, crouching down again, ready to attack.

Finally, Kenshin glanced over his shoulder at the girl, the horrified look on her face breaking what was left of his heart.  Right now he wasn’t her friend, right now all she could see was the killer.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Kenshin said quietly, his voice cold and intense.  She had never seen him like this before.  “I just couldn’t bear to see you look at me the way they do, they way you’re looking at me right now…”

Kaoru sucked in a breath through her nose, her lip quivering; tears fell unbidden from her eyes.

“ _Kenshin_ ,” she despaired, torn between the desire to go to him and being distressed that he had lied to her all this time.

“Stay behind me, I’ll get you out of this,” Kenshin replied, crouching down in to his own attack stance. 

“ _Tch_ … Go, I will handle him; we’ve wasted enough time…” Saito ordered.

Kaoru didn’t even have time to blink, they were moving so quickly, swords clashing, blood flying; it was a hurricane of destruction.  They were so evenly matched.

Using the only obvious weakness in the room, Saito aimed his next attack for Kaoru; the Battousai barely had time to cast himself between them.  One sickening gashing sound and agonized cry later found the third squad captain’s sword thrust through the red-head’s shoulder.

“Kenshin!” Kaoru shrieked, her voice rising in pitch.

“Nnnghhh….” Kenshin fell to one knee, leaning against his sword for support as Saito withdrew.  Both were breathing heavily from the exertion of the fight.  He couldn’t do this, not if Saito was going to use Kaoru against him.  He wouldn’t let her get hurt…

Kaoru barely registered what happened next.  Kenshin had pulled her to his side, holding her with his good arm and escaping through a destroyed wall to the outside street. 

“Come back here and fight me!” Saito roared after them, but Kenshin was too quick.  She was dizzy by the time they came to a stop, Kenshin leaning against the alley wall, the two of them concealed in the shadows.  He clutched his shoulder, his eyes glazed over in pain as he looked at her.  Relief smoothed his furrowed brow as the only emotion he could read from her face was that of concern.  Maybe she didn’t hate him, but surely she would be on her way now that she knew what he had been doing all of this time.

“If you continue down this alley it leads to a safe house where you can rest.  There are others there who will be able to help you get out of Kyoto,” Kenshin explained, amber eyes slowly fading back to purple.

“Are you abandoning me?” Kaoru whispered, her voice raw with emotion.

Kenshin gasped his eyes wide as he met her teary gaze. 

“No… _never_ …” Kenshin stammered, hissing in pain as he moved to stand upright.  “I don’t expect you to sta-”

The assassin was abruptly cut off as Kaoru flung herself into his arms, sobbing in to his neck as her fingers tangled in his long mane of hair that had long since come loose from the pony tail he usually had it in.

“ _Kenshin_ ,” she admonished.  “You’re the only friend I have…”  The poor girl could barely speak through her tears.  “I’m not… I’m not happy that you lied to me, but you’re not… _you’re not just a killer_!”

Breathing was hard, Kenshin's shoulders trembled, his arms coming around her in a crushing embrace.  He allowed his eyes to fall closed as they held tight to one another.  The adrenaline that had pushed him through for the fight was fading, and the need to protect her was the only thing that kept him from crumbling apart where they stood.  

The Shinsengumi had foiled the plans of the rebellion.  They wouldn’t be able to stay in Kyoto.  They couldn’t even risk staying where they were standing for too long.

Side by Side, Kaoru supporting Kenshin by his good shoulder, they made their way to safety…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taken from Wikipedia – “The Ikedaya Incident (池田屋事件 Ikedaya jiken?), also known as the Ikedaya Affair, was an armed encounter between the shishi which included masterless samurai (rōnin) formally employed by the Chōshū and Tosa clans (han), and the Shinsengumi, the Bakufu's special police force in Kyoto on July 8, 1864 at the Ikedaya Inn in Kyoto, Japan.”


	2. Healing

The sanctuary was a run down, abandoned tea house on the outskirts of the main part of the city.  Kenshin had quietly muttered the password to the guard hiding in the shadows, and they were allowed entrance to have his wound treated and a safe place to hide out until morning. 

Though the rooms were crowded with the other members of the rebellion, there was a chill in the neglected building that made Kaoru curl closer to Kenshin’s side.  Her head rested on his good shoulder and his arm wrapped around behind her, his hand settling on the curve of her waist as he tried to provide her with warmth.  His eyes closed as he let his head fall back against the wall behind him, gritting his teeth through the stabbing pain of his injured shoulder.  The herbs had helped, but he refused to take anything with sedative properties.  He had no intentions of leaving her unprotected ever again.

The assassin chanced a look down at his companion.  Despite all that she had seen, being covered in blood at his expense, she didn’t shy away from him.  If anything, the experience had served to bring them closer as she finally understood why he was trying to keep distance from her in the first place.  She had rather vehemently made him promise to never lie to her again, and she was appeased when he had agreed.  They had many things to discuss, but for now, being together, and being safe was enough.

Kenshin could tell when she fell asleep, she leaned heavily against him and her head nodded to the side.  It made it easy for him to give in to the temptation of allowing his cheek to rest against her soft, raven locks of hair.  He did not sleep for a long time, but it was the first time that he was not plagued by nightmares.

“Himura, I’m glad you both made it here,” Katsura woke the pair the following morning.  He had almost hated to do it.  He had never seen his assassin so at peace before, but with the state of things, they didn’t have time to rest for long.  “Come with me, we have much to discuss.”

Kenshin hesitated; Kaoru was looking back and forth between the two of them, her eyes still unfocused from sleep.

“Yes, yes bring the girl, it involves you both.  I’ll give you some time to wake up, come see me upstairs when you are ready.  There is food in the old kitchens down the hall,” the rebellion leader explained.

 

* * *

 

 

“Otsu?”  Kenshin repeated.

“Otsu,” Katsura confirmed.  “I have made arrangements for you to lay low there until I can get regrouped.  If it is agreeable Kaoru…” he turned his attention to the girl.  She had made quite the transformation in the past few months.  She was no longer rail thin, and she seemed absolutely radiant when she was at Kenshin’s side.  Had Katsura not had his own woman, he might have been envious of his assassin.  “…if you wish to remain together, it is best you go under the guise of being married so that no one will suspect you.”

Kaoru hesitated, not because she was opposed to the idea, but because she hadn’t really had a chance to speak with Kenshin last night.  It all seemed a bit sudden, but where else would she go?  She was unwilling to be parted from him, so she had no choice.  She trusted him to let her go if she asked it, or if her safety was called in to question.  She couldn’t see either scenario actually happening, or it being enough for her to leave him. 

“You don’t have to do this,” Kenshin’s voice gently broke through her train of thought. 

Kaoru blinked in surprise, but a smile came to her face.  He would never ask her to stay, she realized.  As she looked in to his eyes, the warm violet she had come to know and trust, she saw the barest glint of hope.  He wanted her to come.  Perhaps he was just as unwilling to lose the only companion he had as she was.  She had never told Kenshin about fleeing her arranged marriage.  The girl supposed they both had quite of bit of truth telling to do when the next opportunity presented itself.  Both men were waiting for her answer.  Katsura was a surprisingly patient man.  She knew if she declined that Kenshin would be wounded.  She couldn’t deny him.

“Of course, I’ll go wherever you go,” she responded.

“Then it is agreed,” Katsura said, watching the exchange carefully.  The tension in the room and in Kenshin’s shoulders dissipated at her response.  That fool was in love with the girl, he just didn’t know it yet.  Katsura smirked.  “If that’s the case, _Himura Kaoru_ , if you go back towards the kitchens there is a storage supply room.  Take as many provisions as you can carry, you both should leave as soon as possible.”  He laughed outright at the look she gave him.  “You should become accustomed to being addressed and calling yourself as such if you want to be believable.  Congratulations on your marriage.”

“Ah, right…”  Kaoru said, a nervous smile crossing her face, getting to her feet to go and gather up supplies.

“Kenshin will be right after you,” Kastura called as Kaoru exited the room.  He waited until she closed the door and the sound of her footsteps became quieter as she made her way down the stairs.

“What is it?”  Kenshin asked.

“I just didn’t want to scare her; it seems that there is a spy among us,” Katsura explained.  “Once I get things sorted out, I’ll come find you, but until then don’t tell anyone else where you’re going.”

Kenshin nodded his agreement.

“It’s about a three hour walk depending on if you run in to any trouble, if you leave now you’ll still have plenty of day light to get accommodated,” Katsura explained, going over in more detail the directions they would need to take in order to reach their destination. 

It seemed everything was settled, but Katsura hesitated before dismissing the assassin.

 “I knew you wouldn’t leave without her… just be wary of those that would use her against you.  You have many enemies now, and despite that…  I still hope for your happiness…”  It was Katsura’s last piece of advice before waving off his most trusted subordinate, a pensive look in his eyes as he watched him go.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“ _Ano_ … Kenshin?”  Kaoru began, feeling shy all of the sudden.

“Are you alright?”  Kenshin asked; shifting the bag of supplies he had slung over his good shoulder so that he could look at her.

They had been walking for about an hour in companionable silence, all the while Kaoru tried to think of a way to bring up the subject of her past.  It didn’t matter that much, but she wanted him to know and wanted to know more about him.  Just because they weren’t really married didn’t mean she didn’t want to try and make more of their relationship… friendship… whatever this was…

“Yes… It’s just… I never told you... I was just... I... _My father renounced me because I had run away from my arranged marriage_ ,” Kaoru admitted, her speech increasing in speed until the end of her phrase.  Kenshin blinked in surprise.  She had never delved in to her life before she met him very much before.

“Kaoru?”  Kenshin questioned when she did not continue.  Whatever reaction she had been expecting, that surely had not been it.  She released the breath she had been holding, afraid that he would somehow think less of her because of the situation surrounding her abandonment.  “No one could blame you for trying to escape something forced upon you against your will.”

“I haven't talked about this to anyone before," Kaoru began, a far away look in her eyes as she recounted the past.  "The day I was supposed to get married… I was at the shrine, dressed and made up.  It had taken so much time,” Kaoru smiled wistfully at the memory.  “We were walking down the aisle, and I just… turned around and ran.  You should have seen the look on their faces, I just couldn't do it...  He wasn't... he...”  She trailed off.

Several minutes of silence ensued, and he could see she was trapped in her head, re-living the experience over and over again.

“Who was he?”  Kenshin asked, and she was drawn out of her daze and back to his side.

“Hm?”

“The man you were promised to.”

“Oh, he was older, one of my father’s colleagues,” Kaoru explained.  “My father was co-owner to several of the local dojos in Edo.  One of his instructors had been trying to get him to agree to let us marry for several years, but I was too young at the time.”

“I see, I’m sorry you weren’t given the choice,” Kenshin lamented.

“Thank you, I’m not used to anyone… being on my side… I guess,” Kaoru said.  It was liberating to be around someone who didn’t look down upon her for wanting to make her own decisions.  It wasn't just that, she just couldn't bring herself to settle with someone like him.  Her intended husband was not as honorable and respectable as her father had believed him to be.

“My family died when I was very young,” Kenshin began, startling Kaoru with his concession. 

“What happened to them?”

“Cholera…”  Kenshin explained.  “I… don’t remember them that well; when they died I was eventually picked up by slavers.”

“That’s terrible,” Kaoru gasped.  “How did you get away?”

Kenshin didn’t answer right away, and Kaoru wondered if she had overstepped a boundary.  She was just about to take it back when he finally responded.

“There were three women who were captured with me… They… They saved me,” Kenshin said.  It was clearly hard for him to keep talking about, so Kaoru let it drop, opting to move closer to his side to lace her fingers with his own.  He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips.

 

* * *

 

The cottage was quaint and isolated from the rest of the village.  There wasn’t much to it, dusty old futons, blankets, and clothes that they could wear were available.  It was clear it had not been inhabited for quite some time, but was well provisioned should the need arise.

They spent the next few days getting settled in, they had enough food to keep them until they could find a way to make money.  There was only one bedroom, so they slept together but in separate futons the same as they had since their first meeting in Kyoto. 

After a few weeks, they had a routine in place.  Kaoru was still a disgraceful cook, but with Kenshin’s help, she was able to make due with edible meals for the two of them.  They were content to spend the days in each other’s company.  She wasn’t sure how she didn’t notice it before, but even being out of the city and having a break from his job as an assassin, Kenshin rarely slept.  It wasn’t until he began to get on the same sleeping pattern as her that she understood why…

They had gone to bed hours ago, and for the first time Kenshin had fallen asleep before her. Their futons had slowly moved closer and closer together as the days went by.  Kaoru had laid awake contemplating their lives.  She wondered if Kenshin would go back to working for Katsura once things blew over and they regrouped.  There were many times that Kenshin would go walking alone, sometimes he spaced out entirely in her company, and she wondered what was going through his mind.  He tried to protect her from the darker side of his personality; the Battousai was becoming more dormant the longer he spent with her.

The night was quiet.

“ _No…_ ”

Kaoru had almost fallen asleep herself when she heard the quiet plea.  Kenshin was talking in his sleep, slowly becoming more animated as the minutes went by.  She sat up, watching him with a look of concern.  Sweat beaded his forehead and he was thrashing around as though someone were trying to kill him.  She started when he let loose an agonized cry, muttering things along the lines of how he should end it all, that there was no good left in someone like him.  A jumbled mess of tortured thoughts escaped his lips.  Tears burned in her eyes as he whispered apologies to the survivors of his victims, his mind tormenting him even in rest.

“Kenshin,” Kaoru called, gently reaching a hand out to shake his shoulder.   “ _Kenshin_!”  She was kneeling next to him now, trying to wake him from his nightmares.  “Wake up,” she urged him, and in the next second he had grabbed her wrist, turning so that she was pinned beneath him.  His fingers dug in to her skin, and she whimpered, surely there would be bruises.   Hazy amber eyes stared down at her as he panted, trying to figure out where he was as the effects of sleep wore off.  “Kenshin,” she whispered, tentatively reaching up to stroke his cheek with her free hand.  “It’s okay… it was just a dream…”

“ _Kaoru_?” The assassin was confused, and his voice cracked as he said her name.  “I…”  He blinked and his eyes were violet once more, his brow furrowed as he made sense of what just happened.  “Have I hurt you?” 

“No, I’m alright, you just startled me,” she lied.

His grip on her wrist had slackened and he sat back away from her so that he could pull her up to sit as well.  He gently rubbed where his fingers had been digging in to her wrist.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered, his shoulders shuddering as he was torn between what he had seen in the dream and what he had been acting out in real life.

“I’m fine, I promise, but you…”  Kaoru tried to search his face, but he kept it down and turned away from her in shame.  “Kenshin… _please_ … it’s okay…”

“ _No_.”  Kenshin bit out, and when he finally met her gaze his eyes were smoldering between violet and amber.  “You’re the one person I want to protect… even if it is from myself…”

Kaoru was taken aback by his response.  Kenshin was pulling away from her and she had to stop him before it was too late.  Cautiously, as though dealing with a cornered animal, she reached out to wrap her arms around his shoulders.  He did not have the strength or desire to resist her embrace.  His arms were still trembling as they came around her.  The old wound in his shoulder still stung, but he needed her and she had welcomed him without hesitation.

“We’ve all done things that we wish we hadn’t done, some worse than others, but it’s never too late to change,” Kaoru said quietly, allowing him to cling to her as worked through his frazzled thoughts.  “The past doesn’t have to define who you are, what you did does not become you…  I meant what I said in the alley, you’re more than what they’ve made you out to be.  You’re still Kenshin and I… I don’t know where I would have ended up without you.”

“Kaoru,” Kenshin croaked out her name, burying his face in her hair.  How could she know exactly what he needed to hear?  As much as it soothed his soul to have her at his side, his tortured mind could not let him fully enjoy it.  He didn’t deserve this.  He didn’t deserve her.  He deserved to die, but she would not let him.  He did not realize it then that he was beginning the road to healing.  She was his purpose now.  If she still believed in his soul, then he would do everything in his power to make himself worthy of her faith in him.

Kaoru slept close to him that night, and every night since, their futons side by side.  Every morning she would wake with his arms tangled around her.  She was his sanctuary; she was his light leading him further and further out of the darkness.

As the days progressed by Kenshin realized what it would be like to have a normal life with her.  He completed odd jobs in the village to earn money to support her.  She kept their spirits high with her optimistic and determined attitude.  He couldn’t remember ever smiling or laughing this often as she continued to peel away his layers of armor.  She was the only person in the world with the ability to lift him up entirely or the capacity to destroy him completely.  Kaoru finally felt like she belonged somewhere, that she was doing some good.  Kenshin could be a kind and gentle soul when he was having a good day and his burdens didn’t weigh on him as heavily.  She did everything she could to draw him out of the despair he sometimes succumbed to.

They did not have very much contact with anyone from the village or Kyoto except Kenshin’s one comrade who visited them once every few weeks to keep them updated on how the rebellion was going.  It was like they were separated from reality, living in a fantasy away from all the violence.  Kaoru hoped that Katsura would never come for them.  She could have lived the rest of her days here with Kenshin and would never have regretted a second of it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The weeks passed.  The warm summer days cooled and turned to fall.  The changing leaves created beautiful scenery.  Kenshin still kept mostly to himself unless he was concerning himself with Kaoru.  The girl on the other hand had befriended one of the women from the village.  She was a few years older than the young couple and seemed to take a very active interest in Kaoru’s relationship with her spouse.

Tomoe had just asked Kaoru what her husband’s personality was like.  The older woman was a bit eccentric, but she was kind, and endeared Kaoru to her very quickly.

“ _Nani_?  Why do you ask Tomoe-san?”  Kaoru was confused by the question.  She met Tomoe for tea almost every week to chat and exchange information on what was going on in the village.

“It’s just… been a bit lonely since my fiance’ died, I didn’t mean any offense,” Tomoe replied.  “I like to get to know the people living in the village.”

 “ _Ano_ … _Kenshin_ , has had a troubled past, but… he’s actually very kind and gentle.  He rescued me from the streets,” Kaoru admitted.  “We’ve been together ever since, and he’s made me very happy.  He’s really… all I have.”

Tomoe seemed to contemplate her answer, the expression on her face giving way to her doubt.  Kaoru wasn’t sure if it was just because she wasn’t believable as a married woman, or if Tomoe had other thoughts in her head about what their relationship was like.  It would be easy for others to get the wrong idea.  Kenshin was so quiet around people he didn’t know.

“What was your fiancé like?”  Kaoru dared to ask.  Tomoe was clearly surprised by the question, but a sad smile came to her face

“We were childhood sweethearts,” Tomoe said.  “He was a strong and honorable man, a very skilled fighter.  Much like you are, he made me very happy.”

“What happened to him?”

“He… was killed,” Tomoe whispered.

“Oh, no, I’m so sorry,” Kaoru lamented, reaching across the table to grasp her hand.  “I… I can’t even imagine what that must be like… I can’t even…”  She shook her head, she could not bear to say the words out loud should their roles be reversed.  She didn’t think she would handle it well if something like that happened to Kenshin.  She was stricken with the thought that it could very easily be her in Tomoe’s place, especially if he continued on working for Katsura.  She didn’t know if she could live with it, but would he really be willing to give that life up?  She made a mental note to broach the subject with him at a later time.

“Kaoru-san, it’s becoming late, you better get home before dark,” Tomoe reminded her gently.

“Yes, you’re right, Kenshin will be worried.  I’ll see you next week?”  Kaoru asked.

“Yes, of course, I’ll see you then.”

Tomoe walked the younger girl out and waved her off, the smile on her lips not quite reaching her eyes.  She had been becoming too attached to the target over the past several weeks.  Kaoru reminded her too much of herself, but she had a mission to complete.  She couldn’t allow herself to believe that the man who murdered her fiancé could be just that… a man in love.  It was much easier to picture him as a cold, ruthless, killer, not the shy, reserved husband to that sweet girl.  Kaoru was going to be crushed, and Tomoe was already struggling with the feelings of guilt that began to eat away at her resolve.

Kenshin had been waiting for her outside as the sun set behind the trees, the sky was a beautiful pink and purple dusk.  He smiled at her as she approached and she just couldn’t help it as she hurried up to him and wrapped her arms around him in a hug.  They had been more affectionate towards one another lately.  Touching fingers turned in to holding hands, brushing shoulders as they walked through the market turned in to his arm coming around her and his hand resting at the small of her back as he guided her home.  He had always been protective, and that simple fact hadn’t changed just because they were in a more secluded area.  She never feared anything when he was at her side.

“Did you have a nice evening?”  Kenshin asked her.

“Yes, but I’m glad to be home with you,” Kaoru said, humming in appreciation as he returned the embrace, resting his chin on the top of her head. 

Kaoru smiled, breathing in deeply the smell of autumn, mixed with the familiar comforting scent that was Kenshin.  She would never get tired of this.

Kenshin reluctantly released her in favor of taking her hand and leading her inside to dinner already prepared.  Kaoru wondered how she had been so lucky that he found her.

An hour later found them both washing up for bed.  Kenshin always let her go first; making sure the water was warm enough.

Kaoru let herself sink down low in the tub, her conversation with Tomoe earlier replaying in her head.  She had never thought about the consequences of Kenshin’s line of work.  It wasn’t even in her vocabulary to think about what things would be like without him.  It wasn’t often that she allowed herself to wallow, she was too steadfast for that, but the mere idea of having to pick up her life again without him was overwhelming.  Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes as she allowed herself to imagine what it must have been like for Tomoe.  What it would be like to come home alone to an empty cottage every day.  The thought was crippling, and physically hurt her to consider. 

She stifled a sob, trying to figure out exactly when it had happened.  How she had come to need him so much?  When did she fall in love with him?

“Kaoru?  Are you alright?”  Kenshin’s quiet voice broke through her thoughts, and she was weeping again.

“Kaoru?”  He tried again, concern lacing his tone when she did not answer.  He could hear her crying and was torn between barging in there to comfort her and respecting her privacy.  God only knows how many times she had allowed him to cling to her in the night to keep the nightmares at bay.  “Please answer me,” he tried again, trying to keep the worry from his voice.

Several minutes passed with no response, and he was about to go in when he heard her soft plea.  His hand hesitated on the sliding door.

“Kenshin,” Kaoru tried to speak.  The anguish in her voice was too much for him, he couldn’t keep away from her.  Sliding the door opened, he entered the wash room expecting the worst.

All he could see was her long mane of silky black hair tumbling down her back as she faced away from him.  The rest of her body was concealed under the water.  Her shoulders were trembling as she tried to regain her composure.  He kept his gaze respectfully averted as he walked up to kneel behind her, his calloused fingers rough against her smooth skin as he rested a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s alright,” Kenshin tried to soothe her.  “If you’re unhappy-”

The assassin didn’t get a chance to finish that statement.  A flurry of sopping wet black hair assailed his face as she threw herself in to his arms.  He would have fallen backwards were his reflexes and balance not so in tune.  His clothes were quickly soaked through and he could feel every curve of her body.  His hands hovered at his sides, unsure if he should touch her or not.

“I’m not unhappy,” she wept, feeling the way his body sagged in relief.

“Did something happen?” Kenshin asked, finally allowing himself to hold her.

“No,” Kaoru whispered, her voice cracking from emotion, her fingers dug in to the fabric of his clothing.  “Nothing happened, I just… “

“ _Did someone hurt you_?”  His voice was so intense, and she could feel the threat of immediate death to anyone she would have named in that moment.

“No, I was afraid that…”  Her voice died in her throat, strangled by another sob as her tears started anew.  God, had she always been this unstable that the mere possibility of losing him was enough to cause her to fall apart?  She was supposed to be helping him work through his demons, not dissolving in to a pitiful mess that he had to try and put back together.

“I would never let anything happen to you,” Kenshin attempted to reassure her, lifting a hand to smooth down her hair in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.  He had never seen her like this before and it was terrifying.  He didn’t know what to do for her.  His concern outweighed his growing arousal.  He was male after all, and having a naked, soaking wet woman press herself against you put his iron will to the test.

“It’s not me I’m worried about, it’s you,” Kaoru whimpered, pulling away to meet him face to face.  Her eyes were stunning, rimmed in red and bluer than the sky.  Was she not so upset, she would have laughed at the way his violet orbs widened.  He was so taken aback by her answer that he was rendered speechless, his lips falling agape.

“ _Kaoru…_ ”  Kenshin whispered her name reverently, cupping her cheek in his hand and wiping her tears away with the pad of his thumb.

“Please, just promise me…” her brow furrowed as her voice cut out again, but she was finally calming down.

“ _Anything_ … anything, please, don’t cry anymore…” Kenshin pleaded.  She was breaking his heart.  All he wanted to do was make her happy again.

“Can’t we just stay here, together?”  Kaoru asked after a few solid minutes of silence.

“You want to stay here… with me?”  Kenshin reiterated, shocked.

“The more I think about going back, the more I can’t stand the thought of you putting yourself at risk… what if you don’t come back?  _I can’t… lose you_ ,” Kaoru whispered.

Kenshin firmly grasped her chin between his thumb and finger, searching her eyes to determine the truth in her words.  She had never been more beautiful than she was in this moment.  It was a foreign feeling to know that he mattered to someone else.  He was not ready to accept the value of his own life yet, at least not for himself.  That would come with time.  He couldn't stop the momentum of his feelings for her.  His lips crashed down against hers, and he was hoisting her out of the water.  Her arms snaked around his shoulders.  He had known for a while that he loved her, but until tonight didn’t think there was any chance that she wanted anything more than a platonic companion out of him.  Any doubts he had were quickly numbed away by the feel of her lips on his own.

His feet navigated the familiar path to their bedroom, using a toe to slide the door opened.  Kenshin could barely untangle her from his arms as he tried to set her down on the neatly made futon.  It wouldn’t remain like that for long. 

When they finally pulled apart, Kaoru hesitated as if she realized what had actually just taken place in the past five minutes.  Her cheeks flushed and she was suddenly shy.  Kensin watched her carefully.

“I would never for-” he began.

“I know,” Kaoru cut him off, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she slowly pulled him back in for another kiss.

"Are you sure?"  He stalled one last time, the last of his restraint going out the window as she impatiently pulled him down, rolling so that she was straddling him, her hands freeing him from his clothing.   

 

* * *

 

 

The early morning light filtered through the bedroom window.  Kenshin was the first to wake, his heart full and contented at the sight of Kaoru asleep in his arms.  The events of last night played over again in his head.  Neither of them had bothered to dress in night clothes, choosing instead to fall asleep as they were.  Her leg was strewn across his bare waist, his arm cradling her head to his shoulder.  He couldn’t bring himself to wake her, not yet.  He knew he didn’t deserve her, but for while it lasted, he was going to enjoy this moment. 


	3. Means to an End

The days were getting colder and shorter.  Kaoru suppressed a shiver as she sat outside waiting for Kenshin to return.  The first snow flurries of the year were cascading down and speckling her hair with white.  A smile came to her face as she saw his familiar mop of red hair coming her way.  He had been gone most of the day working in the village.  A bag was slung over his shoulder, as he crossed the distance between them.

“You shouldn’t be out in this cold,” Kenshin reprimanded her, but he smiled all the same.

“Then you’ll just have to warm me up,” Kaoru responded, tossing her hair over her shoulder and heading inside.

The assassin smirked at her retreating form, needing no other invitation.

Kyoto was long forgotten when they were tangled beneath the covers.  The revolution existed in another world, one that couldn’t even come close to the life they had together now.  They were married in every sense of the word save for the actual ceremony.

* * *

With the weather becoming more of a hinderance, snow and ice layering the ground, Kaoru’s meetings with Tomoe were becoming few and far between.  It was the first of December, and she was glad for the break in the snow and the balmy winter day that allowed her to get to the village unimpeded.

“Ah, it’s been awhile, how have you been?”  Kaoru asked as Tomoe invited her inside.  She settled herself across from her host, a smile on her face. 

Tomoe served them both tea, but her smile seemed fake.

“Lonely, I am glad you were able to come today,” Tomoe admitted.

“Is everything okay?” Kaoru asked, taking several slow sips of the hot drink.  Tea always had a pleasant warming effect, and she appreciated it even more after her walk in the cold.  Tomoe seemed different today.  It had been a few weeks since they had been together.  “Has something happened?”

The older girl blanched, Kaoru was such a kind person.  Tomoe questioned if she was any better than the assassin, using the younger girl in this way?  Putting her in danger?  Using her as a means to an end, someone who thought they were friends?  Weren’t they?   

“No, of course not,” Tomoe forced another smile, watching as the tea began to take effect.  Kaoru’s eyes began to droop and she was leaning to the side.

“I…”  Kaoru hesitated.  What was wrong with her?  She had felt fine just a few moments ago, but now…  “I think maybe I should go home… I don’t feel so… I don’t…”  Her eyes rolled back as she passed out and fell backwards with a thud.

“I’m so sorry Kaoru,” Tomoe whispered, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks.

* * *

It was unlike Kaoru to be late.  Kenshin had waited for her until the sun was gone.  Had she gotten lost?  He tried to convince himself that she maybe opted to stay with her friend due to the bitter chill that came with the night, but it was not enough to shake the feeling of dread that had settled in his gut.  She had always made sure she was back before sun down. 

The assassin did not intend to wait until morning.  He knew where Kaoru’s friend was located, surely if she had been there the older woman could point him in the right direction.  Katsura’s words of warning prickled at the back of his mind.  He turned and went to grab his sword before leaving, not wanting to believe something more sinister was at hand, but not willing to take the chance either.  It was then he heard a familiar knock at the door.

“I'izuka?”  Kenshin was surprised to see his comrade here at this time of night.

“Good, I’m glad you’re still up.  I saw something very disturbing in the village this evening…  It’s Kaoru,” I’izuka began, noting the way the assassin’s eyes darkened.  Gone were the friendly purple irises of the man who lived in peace with his beloved wife, and there in front of him stood the man slayer.

“ _Where is she_?”  The hitokiri demanded.  His voice was deep with intended threat and frozen like ice.  He was going to enjoy killing whoever thought they could so much as a lay a finger on his wife.

“Her friend… Yukishiro Tomoe is the spy we had been suspecting, she was the fiancée of that man you killed” I’izuka explained.  “I saw them taking Kaoru from that woman’s home as soon as the sun was gone from the sky.  They must have drugged her because she was passed out slung over the shoulders of one of the men.  I’m certain they mean to try and extract information from her.”

Kenshin’s jaw clenched and a murderous fury that he had not felt in a long time clawed its way to the surface of his soul.  This was ridiculous, his Kaoru, his sweet Kaoru knew very little of the resistance.  It was enough to curdle his blood to think of her terrified and alone among strangers that meant to do her harm.  Somehow he had failed her again, put her in harm’s way.  Would they ever be able to live the way she wanted them to?  Kenshin had started to believe it was a possibility, but now…   Now he had only one focus.  He was going to get her back.

“ _Where.   Is.   She._ ”  The assassin reiterated.

“Here, I’ve had my eye on these traitors for quite some time.  This is the location of their base of operations.  I saw them heading that way before I came to warn you,” I’izuka answered, handing the man slayer a small folded piece of paper.

* * *

“When this is over, the girl… she can go free?”  Tomoe asked Tatsumi.

The other three members of the Yaminobu had already gone ahead to face the man slayer.

“Provided you keep her quiet and out of the way…  The Battousai must believe her to be dead,” Tatsumi agreed.

Tomoe nodded, feeling slightly relieved.  Kaoru would never forgive her for this betrayal, but at least she could keep it from costing her life.

When Kaoru woke up several hours later she felt hung over like she had had too much sake the night before.  Her head was pounding as she tried to use her arms to sit up, but they were tied behind her back.  Her vision was swimming and vertigo gave everything a nice spinning effect.

“Wha- where am I?” Kaoru asked, her throat dry as she caught sight of the only other person in the room.  Tatsumi had stepped out mere minutes ago to face Kenshin, leaving Tomoe alone with the younger girl.

“Don’t worry Kaoru, you’re safe,” Tomoe reassured her, helping her to sit up.  “This will all be over soon.”

“Tomoe, what have you done?”  Kaoru was still hazy from the effects of the tea, wavering slightly as she tried to maintain sitting up.  “ _What have you done to me_?”  Her voice cracked, and tears rolled down her cheeks as she searched the face of the woman who she had thought was a friend.  The older woman struggled to maintain her composure.

“Kaoru, your husband murdered my fiancée’.”

The silence in the room was deafening as Kaoru’s scrambled mind attempted to make sense of what was just said.  It was so hard to focus.

“ _Kenshin_?” Kaoru whispered his name, leaning backwards out of Tomoe’s grasp as she attempted to steady her. “You…”     

Kaoru’s favorite hair ribbon, the navy one, was gone, and her hair fell in a thick sheet over her shoulders.

Tomoe could see the gears turning in the girl’s head as she slowly put the pieces together.  Her tears started a new and she threw herself backwards away from the older woman as though physically wounded.

“ _You_ … _you lied to me_!”  Kaoru bit out.  Her eyes were blurry with tears, jerking her hands away as Tomoe moved to untie her.

“I did,” Tomoe agreed; undoing the bonds that held Kaoru’s wrists and moving away to respect her need for space.

“You used me!” Kaoru cried, her voice rising in pitch.

“I did, please Kaoru, calm down…  I know that I cannot… I,” Tomoe fumbled for words as she tried to justify what she had done to her friend, and there, in that moment, she couldn’t.  There was no explanation good enough for what she had just done, for betraying her like this.  It wouldn’t bring her beloved back, but it would cost her the only friend she’d had these long, lonely months.

Kaoru struggled to stand, using the wall for support as the distant sounds of a fight ensued outside.

“You used me as bait… to lure Kenshin here to be killed,” Kaoru whispered, her eyes wide as she sought the truth from the other woman’s face.

“Yes,” Tomoe replied in a hushed tone.

“I… I thought you were my friend,” Kaoru murmured, tears leaking from those beautiful blue eyes.  Tomoe could see the shattered pieces of trust and knew that there was no repairing what she had done.

“I was,” Tomoe whispered.  “Please, just stay here until it is over, Tatsumi promised he would let you go free.”

“You want me to just sit here while someone tries to kill my husband?  _Are you out of your mind_?  There is no life for me without Kenshin, don’t you understand?”  Kaoru howled at her, the energy it took her to remain standing was too much and her knees began to shake.

“Kaoru, _I’m sorry_ ,” Tomoe cried; a rare show of emotion crossing her face as tears fell from her own dark eyes.  “I couldn’t just let the man who murdered my fiancée walk away.  I was blinded by my revenge.”

Kaoru stared unseeing for a moment at the other woman.  Perhaps she could understand why Tomoe would have done it, but to follow through and betray someone who trusted you? 

“Good bye Tomoe,” Kaoru said somberly, making her way out in to the night.  It was so cold.  The forest gave off an eerie glow, the only light provided to her by that of the moon.

* * *

“Ah, so you came… I see you’ve cut down all my underlings,” Tatsumi observed, a frown pulling down his lips. 

Kenshin didn’t bother with conversation.  He needed to focus; he was already losing too much blood, his injuries taking a toll on his ability to think straight.

“Not in the mood for conversation?  What a pity… you are too late,” Tatsumi pulled Kaoru’s hair ribbon from his belt.  Kenshin’s eyes widened.  It was hers.  The dark navy color was stained with his blood from the night of the raid on the Ikedaya.  Still, that had not deterred her from wearing it.

“What have you done?”  Kenshin asked, his voice frigid, his eyes a burning amber.  A lethal rage brewed just beneath the surface of his composure.

“I’m sorry that you could not give her your farewells, she’s already dead,” Tatsumi said indifferently.

“ _You’re lying_ ,” Kenshin bit out, yet something inside him snapped, his hands shaking as he attempted to keep his grasp steady on the hilt of his sword.  Tatsumi let the ribbon be taken by the wind, using the assassin’s distress as a distraction to make the first move.  To his surprise and dismay, Kenshin was still able to attack from close range.  He would have to tire the assassin out before taking him with the killing blow.

“You should have heard the way she cried for you,” Tatsumi tortured him, attacking at long range until the assassin was about to pass out.  “She really was lovely, those eyes… the way her tears rolled down her cheeks when she realized you weren’t coming to save her…”

“ _SHUT UP_!” Kenshin hissed, lunging at his target, but his wounds slowed him down.

“ _YOU ARE WEAK!_ ” Tatsumi roared, slamming Kenshin with another blow that left him heaving on the ground.  “Tch… love… what a useless sentimentality…  Look at what it has done to you!  You’re pathetic…”

Kenshin slowly pushed himself back up, his knees about to give way as he crouched in to another attack stance.

“I’ll grant you this last mercy… I’ll kill you quickly…. Or… you can have a long grueling death… the choice is yours…” 

* * *

Kaoru could hear the sounds of the fighting getting closer until she came across the path the two men were on.  Her ribbon had caught in the tree branch next to her, and she slowly pulled it free.  Her eyes were wide in terror as she looked around at the scene before her.  There was blood everywhere; most of it seemed to be coming from Kenshin.  The man whom she assumed was Tatsumi was a titan compared to her love.  She had to stop this; he was going to kill Kenshin.  Her hands were shaking as she broke through the tree line behind Tatsumi.

“ _Stop_!  Don’t do this, _please_!”  Kaoru cried.

“Kaoru!?!”  Kenshin yelled her name in confusion; he looked as though he was seeing a ghost.  He could barely stand; his hair had fallen loose from its pony tail and hung around his shoulders.  His eyes were a wild mix of colors ranging from blue to violet to amber.

“Hn… what a pity, I told him you were dead.  You could have gone free,” Tatsumi said quietly.  “It makes no difference.  Seeing you die will further his decline even more, it is the least I can do seeing as he killed all of my comrades.”  He covered the short distance between himself the younger girl in a matter of seconds. 

“ _NO!_ ” - “NO!” Kenshin screamed in unison with another voice, moving quickly as Tatsumi had turned on Kaoru, the leader’s knife swinging down on her.  He would never get there in time…

Kaoru clenched her eyes shut; she wouldn’t be able to get away from him even if she managed to avoid his first strike.  The blow came from the side, but it was not a stabbing pain.  She had been shoved out of the way, the brisk chill of the snow hitting her face as she hit the ground helping her to sober up as she looked over her shoulder.

There, in her place, was Tomoe run through with Kenshin’s sword stabbing through the other man’s back, impaling both Tatsumi and Tomoe.  The knife the larger man had been holding flew from his grasp and backwards, slashing the assassin’s face.

“Tomoe!”  Kaoru cried.  She pushed herself up; stumbling and tripping her way back over to the older woman.  Kenshin withdrew his sword and Tatsumi fell away from them both, dead on the ground.  Kaoru skidded in the snow, sliding down to her knees next to the injured woman.  Her fingers were raw and red from the cold, trembling from shock and the winter’s air as she grasped her ribbon like a life line.  “Tomoe… why?”  Kaoru asked, tears leaking from her eyes.

Kenshin kneeled a short distance away from them, his shoulders shuddering as he attempted to recover from the battle.

“Kaoru,” Tomoe whispered, struggling to breath.  “I… was wrong… p… please… forgive me… my… my friend…”  With that her eyes slid closed and she breathed her last. 

It was eerily quiet for several moments, only the sound of Kenshin’s labored breathing punctuated the silence.

“Thank you…  I forgive you… my friend,” Kaoru whispered, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.  She then turned her attention to her husband.  “Kenshin,” she murmured, her legs stiff from kneeling in the snow as she stood and made her way over to him.  She allowed herself to slide down next to him, his arms coming around her instantly and crushing her to his chest.  His blood soaked her clothes and his tears wet her neck.

“I thought they had killed you,” Kenshin said, his voice hoarse.

“I’m here, I haven’t left you,” Kaoru reassured him.  They were both shivering with cold.  “Let’s go home…”

Their arms linked around one another as they supported each other in walking home.

It seemed to take forever for them to get there.  After warming up by the fire, Kaoru heated a hot bath.  They were both almost delirious with exhaustion, Kaoru hanging on by threads as she stripped her husband down and helped him ease himself in to the water to assess his wounds.  He was pretty beat up.  A fresh cut on his face intersecting the old scar would leave an odd cross shape mark on his cheek, it had happened when Tatsumi’s knife flew out of his hand.

Kenshin stopped her wandering hands with a gentle hold, gazing at her pensively.  Blue met amber, and she hesitated.

“Are you really here?”  He asked her quietly.

“Yes,” Kaoru replied, freeing a hand to run her fingers through his hair and brush his wet bangs away from his forehead.  “It’s alright,” she tried to reassure him.

“Are you hurt?” He asked.  His eyes closing as he relaxed in to her touch.

“No,” Kaoru answered, watching as the tension left his shoulders.  When he met her gaze again, his eyes were warm and familiar.  The beautiful violet color she had come to love and she couldn’t help but smile at him.  He turned her palm to press a kiss to her hand.

“Kaoru… I don’t know… if I can give you the kind of life you deserve,” Kenshin began quietly, his eyes turning pained.  “Even if I don’t go back to Katsura… I can’t guarantee that they will stop coming after me.  I can’t keep putting you in danger.”

Kaoru stared at him for a long time, and he was unable to meet her eyes again.  She had to tread carefully. 

“Kenshin,” Kaoru whispered.   “I… don’t care about any of that.  I’m never leaving your side again, and you can’t force me away.  I love you.  Whatever comes our way, we can face it together.”

“I can't,” he said brokenly.  “When I thought you were dead… I…”  He couldn’t even speak of it, and she saw how destroyed he had been at the thought of her death.

“It wasn’t any easier for me seeing you beaten and bloodied, being told that if I just kept quiet until it was over that they would let me go,” Kaoru responded.  “Whatever a life looks like without you, I don’t want it.”

“ _Kaoru_ ,” Kenshin sighed.

“Kenshin, please don’t push me away…” Kaoru pleaded.  The look on her face left his heart broken and he did not have the strength to do it.  He couldn’t abandon her like her family before her, but he didn’t want to be self-centered either.  He loved her too much.

“I’m just trying to protect you-” Kenshin began gently.

 “ _No_ , we protect each other,” Kaoru cut him off, and he almost smiled at the stubborn set in her jaw as she was unfazed by the blood staining her hands while she treated his injuries.  God he loved her.

An hour later she had him stitched up and settled in to bed.  He passed out almost immediately and it gave her some much needed time to get herself cleaned up.  She didn’t take long before joining him.  He curled around her almost instantly when he felt her lay down at his side.  Perhaps he wasn’t as out of it as she had thought.

“Kaoru,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead, another form of torment eating away at his soul as he finally understood what he had done to all of his victim’s survivors.  The pain he felt when he thought he had lost her had shattered him. 

“Hmmm?”

“I love you,” Kenshin murmured.

“I love you too,” Kaoru replied, reaching up to place a kiss on his lips.  She soon fell asleep cradled in his arms, her thoughts trying to make sense of everything that had happened.  She mourned the loss of her friend even though she had betrayed her; Tomoe had redeemed herself in the end. 

* * *

Kenshin was up before Kaoru, amber eyes alert as he heard someone entering their home.  With his sword in one hand, he deftly exited the room without waking his lover.  Clad in nothing but bandages and a fresh pair of hakama, he made his way to the door.  He let his guard drop when he realized that it was Katsura that had come looking for him.

“Himura!  I’m glad to see you, looking a little worse for wear, but all the same.  Kaoru, is she-”

“My wife is still asleep,” Kenshin answered, leaning his sword against the wall and inviting Katsura to sit with him around the table.

“I’izuka was the spy… he was cut down by your replacement,” Katsura explained.

“I see,” Kenshin replied.

They were silent for several minutes.

“What do you plan to do now?”  Katsura asked, and Kenshin seemed caught off guard by the sudden change in topic.

“I don’t know.  I made a promise to you, but I also made a promise to her.  She doesn’t want to do this anymore…”  Kenshin said.

“Understandable,” Katsura conceded.  “You should know there has been a rather interesting turn of events… A man by the name of Kamiya has come to Kyoto looking for a young woman.”  He hesitated, taking in Kenshin’s reaction.  “The description and art work of the missing Kamya girl are a striking resemblance to your girl.”

“They lost any rights to her on the day they cast her out as far as I’m concerned.  If she wants to seek them out then that is another matter,” Kenshin replied.  Kaoru had never gone in to detail about what had happened when she fled the shrine on her wedding day, and he never asked. 

Katsura smirked.

“Be that as it may, it would be hard for her to return to Kyoto and avoid facing her past,” Katsura began.

Kenshin’s eyes narrowed dangerously.  “ _I’m not leaving her here_.”

“That’s not what I’m suggesting,” Katsura said, trying to pacify the assassin.  “I just want you to be aware of the situation, and I also came to find out if you planned to keep your promise to me.  Do you still intend to help the weak; to change the world for the better?” 

“Of course I do, but I can’t keep putting her in danger,” Kenshin argued.  He never again wanted to feel the way that he did when he thought her gone to where he could not follow.  “I don’t know that I can keep doing this knowing what it feels like…”

“Yes, I know,” Katsura conceded.  “Tatsumi’s tactics were underhanded…”

Silence ensued.

“Give me some time to talk to her,” Kenshin finally relented.  “We will find you in Kyoto with my decision.”

“I’ll be waiting for you,” Katsura agreed, giving instruction to Kenshin on where to meet him, and taking his leave. 

When the assassin returned to the room he shared with Kaoru, he found her sitting awake.  She must have overheard the conversation because the look on her face was set in determination.

“What do you want to do?”  Kenshin asked, kneeling before her and taking both of her hands in his own.  He swore that his heart stopped beating for a moment when her eyes met his.  Would she always captivate him in this way?  He couldn’t imagine feeling for another the way he felt for her, not tomorrow, or in a million years.  She was the only person that made him feel like his life was worth something, which maybe everything he had done could be for the greater good.  Maybe he was creating a brighter future after all, one in which they could be together.

“I want to stay with you, whatever you decide,” Kaoru said at last, and Kenshin was shocked by her answer, violet eyes wide in disbelief.  “I don’t care that my family may be looking for me.  Well, that’s not entirely true… I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t at least a little curious to see what they wanted.”

Kenshin’s expression softened as he freed a hand to cup her cheek in his hand.

“I don’t want to pretend anymore,” Kenshin started, noticing the way her face gave way to confusion.  “I want you be my wife…”

“I thought that I was,” Kaoru replied, a small smile crossing her face, one that he found himself returning.

“You know what I meant,” Kenshin replied, pulling her close for a kiss.  “Please forgive me for being so selfish,” he whispered against her lips.  “I can’t be without you and I want nothing more than to be deserving of your love.”

“…But you already are,” Kaoru replied; her voice hushed. 

* * *

Later that day they dressed in the best clothing they could find, clothing that was not really their own, but had been stored away in the cottage.  It was not the extravagant wedding kimono Kaoru had donned at her first attempt at a wedding.  That day would have been perfect had the choice of groom been different.  She shuddered as she remembered her father catching up to her before she had reached home, grabbing her by her hair to drag her back to the shrine.  Her make up smeared, and the image of the perfect bride had shattered.  If only she could have known Kenshin before.    Would he have been so cold, so dark were he not thrust in to this life of murder?  How could such a kind and gentle soul survive such a path?  She did not know, but she was grateful that they were together now.

They married at the village shrine.  There was no celebratory feast afterwards; it was just the two of them enjoying their last night in the home that they had shared together for almost the past year.

Kaoru lay awake in his arms long after they had consummated their new bond.  She didn’t feel any different, but it just felt right.  A sense of nostalgia lit the corners of her mind as she thought about leaving this place.  She recalled the first night she had met the man who was now, by law, her husband.

“Do you regret being married to me already?”  Kenshin teased, startling Kaoru out of her thoughts.  She believed him to be sleeping.

“Of course not, I love you.  _Ano_ … I’m just… scared to go back to Kyoto,” she admitted.

“Hmmm,” Kenshin wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her back flush against his chest.  He nuzzled her neck, placing a few kisses at the junction of where her jaw connected with the sensitive flesh of her ear.  She rolled her shoulder, trying to shoo him away, giggling at the sensation.

“ _Kenshin_ ,” she whined, “I’m serious.  What if they are waiting there for me?  What if they want me to come home?”

“Do you want to go home?” The red head asked her.

“I… don’t know,” Kaoru answered.  “Home has been wherever you are.  I don’t think I could go back,” she paused and he felt the unease return to her body.  “What if they force me?”

“I’d enjoy watching them try,” Kenshin replied, his voice intense, the darker side of his nature taking hold.

“Kenshin,” Kaoru sighed, turning to face him.  The manslayer lay next to her, his arms possessive around her waist.  He slowly regained his composure, the tension leaving his shoulders as he curled closer to her. 

“It’s unlawful to abduct someone’s wife,” Kenshin murmured.

“Is it now?” Kaoru asked, some humor returning to her voice.  She wasn’t afraid for herself, but at the thought of what Kenshin might do if her family reacted poorly.  Her father had made it very clear that if she would not return to the shrine with him then she should not return at all.  What were the chances that they would even still be in the area by the time they got there?

“We will deal with it when the time comes,” Kenshin replied, smoothing her hair down as he coaxed her to relax in his arms.  She did and eventually fell asleep.

* * *

The next morning, they took one final look at the small cottage that had been their home and place of refuge.  Kaoru was nearly teary eyed as she laced her fingers with her husbands and they began the trek back to Kyoto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm... It's difficult to try and keep in character when I'm more familiar with Kenshin when he was older. I believe meeting Kaoru early would make him be less reserved with her. He doesn't yet have the maturity and wisdom he gained from wandering.


	4. Ghosts of the Past

The bustling streets of the city caused Kaoru some anxiety as they made their way to Katsura’s destination.  The couple had been so far removed from this life, that returning felt almost as if they had gone back in time.  Had everything they experienced the past nine months actually happened? 

The winter was cold and snow was sticking to the ground.  Kaoru shivered, and not just from the chill.  Last winter revealed some of the darkest days of her life.  She had been homeless, friendless, spending some of the bitter cold nights in the spare storage rooms of the people and businesses that took pity on her.  She felt a warm hand rest on her shoulder as her husband’s arm came around her.  She wasn’t sure if he sensed her distress or if he was just trying to keep her warm.  Perhaps it was neither as his gaze was fixed ahead, his expression unreadable. 

Kenshin had always been conscious of any impeding threats, but living out in the country, he had been able to let his guard down.   It had been long enough that the people didn’t immediately recognize him, but not all had forgotten.  He could feel a pair of eyes on them as he guided Kaoru through the crowded streets, eventually turning down a narrow alley that would lead them away from the commotion.

* * *

They were at a safe house in one of the less crowded areas of the city.  It was a private diner that opened every evening after five pm, the upper level of the building was used for lodging for some of the other members of the rebellion.  They were more scattered than they had ever been, but Katsura had successfully been able to regroup after the Ikedaya incident. 

Kenshin and Kaoru had discussed at length about what he was going to do.  She didn’t want him to continue his destructive line of work, but she knew he would have a hard time going back on his word.  He was hesitant, even as they sat before Katsura.  The hitokiri had been traumatized by Tatsumi.  Kaoru rested a supportive hand at his lap as they kneeled across the table from his employer.

“I made a promise,” Kenshin relented.  “I will continue to help you, but when we are finished, I am laying down my sword for good.  I will never take another life again.”

“We are agreed then,” Katsura replied.  “You may choose whatever room is to your liking.” 

He was about to let them go, but paused, a grin breaking out on to his face.

“I understand that there are congratulations in order.”

Kenshin and Kaoru exchanged confused glances.

“On your wedding of course, for real this time as it were,” Katsura said. 

“Oh, yes, thank you,” Kaoru replied with a smile.

“One more thing, Kaoru, I’d like you to waitress at the restaurant,” Katsura began, noting the way she faltered before nodding.

“Is that really necessary?”  Kenshin asked.  He didn’t want his wife to have anything to do with this operation.

“Yes, I’m sure it will prove quite profitable.  Now, calm down, this isn’t a public place, you don’t have to worry about unwanted visitors coming to see you,” Katsura reassured her.  “I would just like an extra set of ears among our ranks.  After that nasty business with I’izuka I don’t want to take any more chances.”

“Then I’ll do it,” Kaoru accepted, glad for the opportunity to be of some use to not just the revolution, but her husband as well.

“Are you sure about this?”  Kenshin asked when they had settled on a room, closing the door behind him.  He grasped Kaoru’s hand and pulled her close to him, and the way she smiled at him melted his heart.

“Of course I’m sure.  I want to be able to help you,” Kaoru replied, leaning up to brush her lips against his.  “You can’t just keep me in a bubble for the rest of our lives,” she joked.

“You cannot blame me for trying,” Kenshin replied, using his free hand to run his fingers through her pony tail.  Her favorite navy ribbon held her raven locks in place, and he found himself smiling back at her.

“Just promise me when this is all over we can go back out to the country,” Kaoru said.

“We can go wherever you want,” Kenshin answered, and he meant it.  Once his promise to Katsura was fulfilled, he would follow her anywhere. 

“Any where I want?” Kaoru questioned, and he answered her with another kiss.

* * *

  _1868_

* * *

The days came and went.  The weeks turned to months and the months turned to years.  The couple lived in relative peace.  Kaoru assumed that whatever family had been looking for her had given up and moved on. 

Every time Kenshin had an assignment, he was plagued by nightmares a few days later.  As time went by the dreams came less and less, but the one thing that remained constant in his terror was that he would one day lose his wife.  His agonized cries and tears often startled her awake, her heart breaking at the sight of him.

Tonight was only one of many that he clung to her, and his hands gripped her so tightly that it almost hurt.  She never complained, or made her discomfort known, she would just let him hold on.  Her fingers would wind through his hair, freed of its pony tail, as she murmured reassurances to him that she was still there.  It always distressed her to see him like this, the trauma of his work causing more damage than physical wounds.  He would eventually calm, like he was right now, and she would be able to sleep. 

Often times she would lie awake and miss the peaceful comfort of the cottage in Otsu.  All the horrors he had here in Kyoto he had been able to manage there and now he had to start all over again.  It was nights like these that she would stare in to the face of her sleeping husband and notice the way he had changed.  He was no longer the fourteen year old who had saved her from the streets, but a young man who struggled everyday with his role in bringing about the new age.  Things had been moving in their favor recently and Kaoru was hopeful that soon they could move on with their lives.

Kenshin was able to wake and greet her every morning with a smile.  His lips would brush across her forehead as he was up and moving before her.  The late nights spent being a waitress at the restaurant left her fatigued, and so he let her rest.

* * *

A man standing next to the corner of one of the fruit stands pulled his kasa further over his face as he watched Kaoru enter a private eatery with a redheaded young man.  It had been going on five years since Koshijiro had last seen his daughter.  If he remembered correctly, she would be turning nineteen this coming summer.  She had only just turned fourteen before she ran from her wedding.

Rumors of her appearance in Kyoto traveled back to Edo.  His late wife’s sister who had been staying in Kyoto claimed to see the girl walking the streets one night with a rather dangerous looking young man.  His daughter had not changed much, just matured.  The roundness of childhood was gone from her face, and she was set with the shape of a woman.  He probably wouldn’t even be here were it not for his wife’s dying wish for him to reconcile with their daughter.  The girl could be so stubborn; she had no idea what she had ruined when she refused to marry Takeshi.

Koshijiro had arrived in the city in late autumn, just two months after he had after he laid his wife to rest.  The poor woman had not lasted long after he had put Kaoru out; that was perhaps his biggest regret.  The girl could be head strong, but she had brought joy to his wife.  When she fell ill after Kaoru’s departure, she never recovered.   It was not long after that he received word about his daughter’s whereabouts.  From what information he could gather, his offspring had disappeared with the demon of Kyoto in the middle of summer after the Ikedaya incident, but had returned several months after that.  No matter how he tried he could not find out where they had gone, his sources sending him in circles for years. 

That is, until now… There was no doubt about it at this point.  His daughter was in league with one of the assassins of the revolution.  He had not missed the way the young hitokiri had wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders, his gaze ever alert for danger.  As a man on the side of the Shogunate, the scene had served only to incense him further.   This situation just became a lot more complicated.  It would be damn near impossible to even come close to her.  Besides his late wife’s wishes, he had only one other reason to find her…

* * *

Winter had come again when one of the regulars at the restaurant had caught Kaoru just before closing.

“Okina,” Kaoru greeted him with a smile.  “What can I do for you?”

“Ah, beautiful Kaoru,” the older man had always tried to sweet talk the younger ladies.  His hair was just beginning to go gray, but that did not deter him from hitting on women of all ages.  “Listen, there has been a man lurking around these parts for many months claiming he knows you.  He left this note with me as I frequent this bar, but I didn’t give him any indication on whether or not you were here.”

“What… what did he look like?”  Kaoru asked.  She was stunned by this new information.

“Rather like you my dear, dark black hair, with the face of a demon… however, your blue eyes,” Okina explained.

“I see… my father has finally found me out then,” Kaoru sighed, apparently Koshijiro had just been laying low until he could find the right time to get a message to her.

Okina handed her the folded piece of paper her father had given him.

“He’s been in the Kyoto area for quite some time, but doesn’t seem interested in the rebellion.  I was quite curious about him until he approached me the other night.”

“He hates that this revolution is happening.  We were well off, or he still is I suppose,” Kaoru began.  “He really believed that the world would end without the shogunate to ensure order.”

“We may well find out,” Okina agreed.

“Anyway, thank you…”  Kaoru said, walking him to the door to lock up for the evening.

“Just be careful, whatever that reads, I’d hate to not have your lovely face to attend to me!”

Kaoru blinked as the man left her, her gaze turning in to a scowl as he copped a feel of her back side on the way out, he was incorrigible.

* * *

 

Kenshin could sense it before she even walked through the door.  He would often be in bed before Kaoru returned, but would always lie awake waiting for her.  When she came in dressed for sleep, she tried and failed to hide the fact that she had been crying, her eyes were red and her cheeks still flushed.  Her arms trembled as she clenched a balled up piece of paper in her hands. 

Kenshin propped himself up on his forearm, unsure if he should speak or wait for her.  Kaoru opened her mouth but no words came out, and he knew she was having a hard time finding the words to explain.

“What happened?”  Kenshin prompted her.  When she did not answer him, but merely bowed her head to avoid his eyes, he was up and at her side.  She did not shy away from him as he reached for her, gently prying the paper from her hand to read it.

The assassin’s face was set in a scowl as he read the note, understanding immediately at the mention of “your mother’s death” that this letter was from her father.  He went on to read that the man had been trying to get in contact with her for some time but that her “association with that manslayer was making it impossible”. 

Kenshin’s eyes narrowed as the last few sentences were a bid for Kaoru to agree to meet with him so that he may discuss her mother’s last wishes with her and where she could find him.  The note was emotionally cold and distant, and nothing like what Kaoru deserved.  She was so kind and vibrant, he hated to see her light dimmed because of a few unfeeling words from a father who should have been going crazy trying to find her.

“He is using your mother’s death against you,” the young hitokiri said.

“I know,” Kaoru whispered, melting in to his arms as soon as he embraced her, the letter falling from his hand to the floor.

“Who gave this to you?”  Kenshin asked.

“Okina,” Kaoru muttered in to his shoulder.

Kenshin pulled her closer.  The older gentleman who often came to the restaurant was not on the side of the revolution, but nor was he really in support of the shogunate.  The assassin didn’t know too much about his group other than they were put in place to keep tabs on the violence.  It was unlikely that he had sinister intentions, but Kenshin was unwilling to take any chances.  He also had a mind to go find her father and find out exactly what his problem was.  He wasn’t going to let anyone treat her this way, least of all her own family.

“ _Kenshin_ ,” Kaoru said quietly, wrapping her arms around his waist.  “Please, just let it go for now.” 

Kenshin smirked; she could read him so easily. 

“As you wish,” he replied. 

Kenshin eased her down in to bed with him, allowing her to curl up to him as she did every night.  He had decided long ago that there would never be another to take her place at his side.  His lips brushed across her forehead, her arm slung across his waist. 

* * *

 

They didn’t talk about it for many days after that, and Kenshin could see the difference in his wife knowing that her father was nearby.  She was so anxious, but he let her go until she came to him. 

It didn’t take long.  Kaoru always had a hard time keeping her thoughts from him. 

“I think that I should see him,” Kaoru and Kenshin were sharing lunch out in the city, when she abruptly put her chop sticks down and blurted it out.  She could tell by the way he looked at her that he didn’t think it was a good idea; or rather he didn’t want her father to have any more opportunities to cause her pain.

“If you are sure,” Kenshin answered slowly.

“I want you to come with me,” Kaoru said, fidgeting nervously with her sleeve.  She watched the way he stared at her in silence for moment.  “ _Well_?”

“I didn’t plan on letting you go alone regardless.  I still don’t think it’s wise.  He will only hurt you,” Kenshin said, his voice clipped.  He was not intentionally cold with her, but she could always tell when he struggled.  He was trying so hard to fight against the hitokiri within.  She was his greatest motivation in that respect, but also his greatest downfall.  Her faith in him kept him anchored to the gentle man who had lived with her in the country, but he could not always contain his darker self.  If it came down to protecting her, he knew he would kill without reservation.  Despite his best efforts, every time he held his sword in his hands he became a different person. 

“I just want some closure… My mother… she,” Kaoru trailed off.  “She told me I didn’t have to marry him.  She told me that I could stay…” 

Kenshin reached across the table to grasp her trembling fingers in his hand.

“My father quite literally tried dragging me back to the shrine, she came after us crying.  She begged my father to give us time to sort this out, that there had to be another way.  I almost… _almost_ went through with it just to stop her tears,” Kaoru took a shaky breath.  “Takeshi was a known philanderer, and an abusive one at that.  My father told me not to believe such trivial lies, that our union would bring about the greater good for his business and for the shogunate forces.  He did not care that my intended was almost three times my age at that time.”

They had been together for almost five years, and it had been the first time she really went in to detail about what had happened with her family.  Kenshin sat quietly, worried that if he said anything to her she might shy away and change the subject. 

“Besides… my mother could not convince him, and when I refused to go back he slapped me to the ground.  I was given half an hour to return home and change my clothes because I wasn’t allowed to take the expensive wedding kimono with me,” Kaoru explained.  “Not that I wanted it, but…  He told me that if I was not gone by the time he returned that he would remove me himself.  My mother came back with me…  She tried to convince me to stay, that this would blow over in time.  I told her… I…”  A few silent tears rolled down her cheeks.  “I wish she would have come with me, but… she wouldn’t leave my father.  My arranged marriage was more important to him than anything else.”

“He was a fool,” Kenshin replied, earning a weary smile from his partner.

“He was always a bit distant, but he had never been as cruel as he was that day.  I don’t think he’ll leave us alone if I don’t meet with him, and I don’t want you to hurt him,” Kaoru added. 

“That will be up to him,” Kenshin said, his voice dripping with intended threat.

* * *

Katsura allowed Kaoru the following evening off, and she and Kenshin made their way to the tea house designated in her father’s note.  The sun was already sinking from the sky as they walked the streets, Kaoru tucked close to her husband’s side.  Her knuckles were white as her fingers clenched in the sleeves of her kimono as they neared their destination.

“So… you came after all,” Koshijiro said, emerging from the shadows of the abandoned tea house that had been their safe haven on the night of the Ikedaya incident. 

Kenshin took a defensive step forward, Kaoru slightly blocked behind him.  The man had yet to make a move towards them, but the assassin made his stance on the situation very clear.  The older man smirked.  The beautiful blue of Kaoru’s eyes matched his own, only there was an intensity there that would unnerve someone of a weaker constitution.

“Calm down boy, I didn’t track my daughter here to cause her harm,” he said.  “Kaoru, will you not speak with me?”

Kenshin remained where he was, the girl in question hesitating before she rested a shaky hand on the assassin’s arm.  He was poised to draw his sword.

“You needed a body guard to see your old man?”  Koshijiro provoked her.  He had not changed.

“Kenshin is my husband,” Kaoru said, enjoying the look of poorly concealed surprise that crossed her father’s face.  She did always like to throw him for a loop whenever possible.  He was still disappointed in her, but for some reason it didn’t bother her as much as it used to.

“Yes, I found out long ago that you were caught up in this mess of a rebellion.  I’ve been trying to find you for the past few years,” Koshijiro admitted.

“Why?”  Kaoru’s asked.

“I did not lie to you, your mother wanted me to seek you out,” her father answered.  “I see that there is no making amends for past hurts.”

“You left me homeless,” Kaoru bit back.

“I understand why you feel I was unfair to you,” Koshijiro answered, waving his hand in a dismissive gesture.  “I only came to warn you.”

“ _What_?  I don’t understand,” Kaoru said, eyeing him warily.  The dim lamplight of the building left an eerie glow as the sun was completely gone from the sky.

“Listen…  I loved your mother, and she loved you more than anything else.  She never forgave me for what I did and I don’t expect you to either,” he paused.  “You are still my daughter.”

Kaoru jerked backwards as if she had been struck, tears falling unbidden from her eyes.

“You don’t mean that, you just feel guilty about mama,” she replied bitterly.

“Hm, yes,” Koshijiro replied.  “It’s true, but I don’t say anything I don’t mean and you know that.  There will be a war breaking out soon, and you won’t be safe here.”

Kenshin could feel Kaoru stiffen at his side.  He had already been aware of the rumors of both sides gathering forces to end things once and for all.

“I would advise you to leave here,” her father said after several minutes of silence before turning to leave.

“That’s it, that’s all you have to say to me?” Kaoru asked his retreating form.  “You’ve searched for me for years only for this?” 

“Do you wish for me to utter apologies that are not true?   Would they be accepted?”  Koshijiro asked her.

“I don’t know,” Kaoru responded honestly.

“Then I’ll leave you with this… I am truly sorry about your mother.  Your beauty at least you got from her.  I made a promise, and I could not let her down again,” her father said with finality, disappearing in to the darkness as his words faded away in to nothing.

Kenshin did not relax for a long time after that, amber eyes observant as he allowed his wife some time to process the hasty visit.  Kaoru did not move, simply staring at the spot where her father had stood.  She did not know what she had expected from him, but that had not been it.

“Did you know?”  Kaoru finally spoke.

“About?”  Kenshin replied.

“The war,” Kaoru specified.

“I’ve only heard rumors,” Kenshin answered and she believed him.

“Are you going to fight?”  Kaoru pressed.

The hitokiri could not bring himself to answer her.

“I cannot convince you otherwise?” Kaoru tried.

Silence met her once more as she took a shaky breath.

“Kenshin, I can’t lose you,” Kaoru whispered. 

Blue met amber.

“You won’t,” Kenshin tried to reassure her, his arms coming around her, surprised when she resisted him.

“You can’t promise that.”

The red head sighed, opting to rest his hands on her shoulders as she would not come to him.

“Kaoru, I have a promise to fulfill to Katsura.”

“I am your wife.”  Her lip trembled.  His soul ached at the sight of her distress.

“Do you regret it?”  Kenshin asked her quietly. 

Kaoru was in his arms in the next instant, her thin frame trembling as she held on to him.

“I love you,” was her answer.

“I know beloved, but that is not what I asked you,” Kenshin replied, gently hooking a finger under her chin so that she would meet his gaze, his eyes a myriad of colors.

“I do not regret marrying you.  I do not regret going home with you that night almost five years ago.  I do not resent you for what you feel you must do,” Kaoru said, her brow furrowing as she struggled with her next words.  “ _Ano_ … I just... do not see how I could go on without you.  I can’t handle thinking about the possibility of you not coming back to me.”

“There is no power in this world or the next that could prevent me from returning to your side,” Kenshin answered.  The intensity in his voice left no room for argument.  Her lips were crushed to his before she could say anything else, she was pulled impossibly closer.  One arm braced against the side of the building as his other came around her to support her weight when her legs wrapped around his waist.  She tangled her fingers in his hair, and he had her right there, concealed in the shadows of the former safe house.  

"Promise me," Kaoru moaned.

"I swear," Kenshin ground out, gasping for breath as she brought him closer to completion.

Once they were both spent and satisfied, they walked side by side back to the diner. 

The next phase of the rebellion was coming sooner than either of them anticipated.  Kaoru did not see how they were going to get through this.  She had thought she had a hold on her abandonment issues with her family, but they came roaring back and shattering her resolve at the idea that Kenshin might be forced to leave her if things did not go well.  She tried to cling to hope that maybe a war was avoidable; maybe he wouldn’t have to fight…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear the next chapter is the last. When Kenshin and Kaoru first meet it is approximately 1864. By the time they return from Otsu and are married it is 1865. Kenshin continued to work for Katsura for about another three years until January 1868 when the Boshin war takes place, at which time he fights until the revolution is a success before disappearing. At that time Japan still followed the Chinese new year which according to my limited research shows that the year changed over from 1868 to 1869 in the month of February. The war would continue until June of 1869. With this logic in mind, the war lasted approximately six months, or for the sake of this story that is what I'm going with.
> 
> I realize that Kaoru's father is not very in character, but for the purposes of the alternate reality that this story is based in, he's a jerk. XD
> 
> Please have patience with me. This story isn't beta'd. I plan on going back through when it is complete to touch up any errors.


	5. Full Circle

 

* * *

 January 27, 1868

* * *

 

It had been over almost two months since Kaoru had last seen her father, and she knew she wouldn’t be meeting him again.  She couldn’t help but relive their last meeting in her head as she dry heaved once again in to the empty basin in the washroom.  Her brow beaded in sweat as she wiped the drool from her mouth with the back of her hand.  She had been sick every morning for the past two weeks.  Though she tried to be discreet, Kenshin was too observant for her to keep it a secret from him for long.  It was unlike her to be up that early.  She could see the concerned way he looked at her every time she walked back in to their room.

“Kaoru, I think you should be seen by the doctor,” he prompted her. 

The dark haired girl almost laughed at the look of nervousness on his face.  She wasn’t worried, not really.  She had missed her cycle last month and was late this month.  She had just assumed it was because of stress.  The regular morning sickness only confirmed her suspicions.  The only thing she had left to figure out was how to tell him.  She didn’t know if he would be happy or not, the timing wasn’t the best.

“Don’t worry so much,” Kaoru attempted to be reassuring as she settled beside him at the table, gratefully accepting the ginger tea he had prepared for her.

“I cannot keep from caring about you,” Kenshin responded.  A sigh escaped his lips as his arm came around her, tucking her closer to his side.

“Hmmm,” Kaoru hummed in agreement, the tea warming the chill from her fingers and helping to settle her upset stomach.  She let her head rest on his shoulder, draining the last bit of the comforting brew that was left in her cup and placing it on the table in front of her.  She enjoyed the warmth of his body as he held her closer to his chest. 

“You haven’t been sleeping well,” Kenshin commented.

“I haven’t been sleeping in is more like,” Kaoru responded.

“You’ve been more tired than usual,” he persisted.

“I am,” Kaoru agreed.  She was at ease with her head tucked under his chin, his voice vibrating deep in his chest.   The sound of his heart beating was effectively lulling her back to slumber.

The sickness she could deal with, but waking up from a dead sleep at the crack of dawn to have to run and vomit was another thing.

“Kenshin, do you want to have children?”

The assassin was shocked in to silence at her question; to him it came out of the blue.

“I… haven’t thought about it,” Kenshin responded.  “Before I met you I didn’t even consider such things… I didn’t know that I could have a life like this.”

Kaoru smiled slightly at his answer, perhaps right this second wasn’t the best time to spring the news on him.

“Maybe Katsura will let me have the night off, would you take me out?”  She asked him.

“Of course,” Kenshin replied.  He could deny her nothing when she gazed at him through her lashes like that.  If she asked him to stop fighting in the revolution this instant he was not certain he would be able to resist her.

They remained like that for some time, she looked so exhausted that he did not have the heart to move and wake her up.

* * *

Katsura never refused the hitokiri’s wife when she requested the evening off.  Tonight was no different as Kenshin and Kaoru walked side by side towards the southern part of the city.  It was a bit of a walk, but it was to one of their favorite places to eat.  She could tell Kenshin was still worried about her; he had tried to convince her to allow him to take her somewhere closer with the weather being so cold.  She had refused.  Besides, the walk would give her some time to think over how she wanted to let him know she was now carrying his child.

The hot pot restaurant was busier than usual, it was a popular dining choice as the food was kept simmering hot at the table.  It was easy to forget the chill of winter when you had a steaming warm meal in front of you.

“Thank you,” Kaoru said, smiling at him once they had finished their meal and he paid the bill.  “I think that’s just what I needed.”

“If that’s all it takes to please you, then I should be grateful, that I should,” Kenshin quipped, earning a smirk from his wife.

“ _Ano_ … there is something I’ve wanted to talk to you about,” Kaoru began.  Warm violet eyes gazed back at her patiently as they started the trek back to the diner.

“What is it?”  Kenshin asked.

“I think I’m-” Kaoru was abruptly cut off as Kenshin moved quickly, shoving her behind him and shielding her with his body as the sounds of a fight erupted just a few streets away towards the southern gate of the city.  He tensed up in front of her as the commotion started breaking out all around them.  It sounded like an ambush.  He could feel the tremor in her fingers as she gripped the fabric of his dark blue haori.

“It’s alright,” Kenshin murmured, trying to reassure her.  “Just don’t leave my side.”  His sword was drawn, and he grappled between being her gentle husband and the ruthless manslayer.  It did not matter she realized.  To love one side of him was to love the other and he was still her husband even as he cut through any threat that crossed their path.

Kaoru took a shuddering breath.  She didn’t need to be told twice.  She didn’t need to be told at all.  She would never stray from him in a situation like this.  Had her father been right?  Was there a war coming to fruition right before their eyes? 

The streets were becoming crowded with panicking people and battling warriors.  Some of them were on the side of the revolution, most of them were on the side of the Bakufu, and even more were just confused citizen’s trying not to get caught in the cross fire.

“We are we going?” Kaoru asked, not recognizing the way back home from where he was leading her.

“You can’t stay here,” Kenshin responded.  “I can’t protect you like this.”

“ _I’m not leaving you_ ,” Kaoru protested, tugging on his sleeve to get him to slow down and look at her.  An expression of frustration crossed his face, his eyes no longer warm and inviting, but the cold and intense amber of the hitokiri.  She was not afraid of him, and met his glare head on, resisting him as he tried to continue forward.

“We’ll talk about this later,” Kenshin growled, sweeping her off of her feet to carry her despite her objections.  He was able to move fairly quickly even with the added weight of his wife in his arms.  They were almost out of the fray when they were cut off and the red head cursed under his breath.

“So, we meet again,” Saito said.  He and his squad had successfully surrounded the assassin, forcing him to set Kaoru behind him and draw his sword.

“I don’t want to fight you,” Kenshin replied.

“That’s a shame,” the third squad leader replied, a wolfish grin crossing his face.  “You are in the wrong place it seems as we are in the midst of a war.  We never settled our match all those years ago.”

“I hate to disappoint you, but I have no intentions of settling with you right now,” Kenshin stated.

“What makes you think you have a choice?” Saito questioned.

“I’d rather not kill you and all of your men in front of my wife,” the assassin hissed, his amber eyes flashed dangerously in the lamp light.

“Is that so?” Saito smirked.  “Very well, she may pass without any harm coming to her, but you and I will settle our affair here and now.”

“ _No,_ ” Kaoru pleaded, but she knew she had already lost.

“Kaoru, go,” Kenshin said, and she dared not disobey him in this instance no matter how she longed to.  She would only be a weakness to him.

Tears leaked from her eyes as she clutched the back of his haori, her forehead coming to rest between his shoulder blades.  She shuddered trying to keep her composure as he relaxed slightly beneath her touch.

“I will find you, I promise,” the hitokiri vowed quietly.

“I’ll be waiting,” Koaru whispered, finally pulling away from him and being ushered away by one of Saito’s men.  She glanced over her shoulder, watching as they continued to exchange words before turning the corner and breaking out in to a run.  She was nearly blinded by her tears as she went to the only place she could think of.

* * *

Kaoru couldn’t keep track of time.  She didn’t know how long she had been hiding in the shadows of the abandoned tea house.  With the war broken out, she wasn’t sure going back to the diner was the safest idea.  She had probably been crying for about an hour before someone came for her.

“Hn… so my idiot apprentice takes a wife.”

The masculine voice startled her and she jumped to her feet prepared to flee.  The man before her was a giant, a long white cape flowing from his shoulders.

Kaoru’s eyes were wide like a deer caught in the headlights.  She licked her lips, her throat dry as she responded.

“Who are you?”

“My name is Seijuurou Hiko,” he paused, looking the girl over.  “Not bad,” he murmured to himself.

“ _Excuse me_?” Kaoru asked, a look of annoyance crossing her face.

“Nothing…  I was surprised to get word a few days ago from my stupid student.  I’m honestly surprised he’s still alive.  He wrote to me begging for me to come get you and take you to safety,” Hiko explained.  “Seems I’m a little late…”

“I… I can’t leave,” Kaoru stuttered.

“I don’t have time to baby sit you,” Hiko barked.  “The choice is yours, wait here to die or come with me and wait for him there,” his tone was bored, but she did not recoil from him.  He was almost amused as her face set in to a look of determination and she nodded. 

Kenshin had told her many times of his former master; the description he had given her not only of his looks, but also his personality matched the older man perfectly.  Hiko made it very clear that coming to her aid was an ordeal, and it made her wonder why he had come at all.

Kaoru had no idea where they were going, and didn’t really care to ask.  It was late in the evening by the time they had reached Hiko’s small hut.

“There’s an extra futon through there, you should get some rest,” the master directed her.  Kaoru was surprised by his kindness due to his harsh treatment of her earlier.

“Thank you,” she murmured, though she was exhausted, she didn’t know that she would be able to sleep without Kenshin. Her thoughts were buzzing as she lay down, and yet somehow she had managed to get a few hours in before the morning sickness had her up and running outside.

The girl had forgotten where she was, but still managed to make it out the door before losing her dinner from the previous night. The events of just a few hours ago came rushing back to her as she kneeled outside, her shoulders heaving.

“He sends me to acquire his pregnant wife, and doesn’t even have the decency to show up the next morning.”

Kaoru flinched slightly as she heard Hiko’s annoyed voice come up behind her, offering her a cool rag to wipe her face with.

“He doesn’t know,” she croaked.

“How long?”  He asked.

“Only about two months.”  She answered.

“You weren’t certain until recently,” Hiko surmised.

“Yes,” Kaoru said, wiping the sweat from her brow with the damp cloth.  “I was going to tell him last night…”

“He’s a fool,” Hiko retorted coldly. 

“I love him,” Kaoru responded.

“It may not be enough to save him,” the master countered, and she knew he was right.

When Kaoru was sure she was done, she followed Hiko back inside, smiling slightly at the sight of warm tea set at the table for her.

“Thank you,” she said quietly.

“Hm, you’re welcome,” Hiko replied, sitting across from her.  “Now tell me, how has that idiot been spending his time?”

The girl sighed before taking a sip of tea.

“I can’t speak for what he did before he found me,” Kaoru began, telling him the whole story.  The master listened with mild interest, but made no comments as she explained how they ended up back in Kyoto and Kenshin’s vow for after he had kept his promise to Katsura.

There were several minutes of silence after she had finished recounting their life’s story of the past five years.

“I see,” the master said at last, seeming preoccupied.  “You look terrible, you should try to actually get some sleep.”

Kaoru hesitated, not having the energy to be offended.

“I’ll wake you when he returns,” Hiko said, waving her away in a flippant gesture.

When the girl disappeared in to the side room, Hiko moved to step outside.  If his inclinations were correct, and they always were, his stupid apprentice would be arriving any moment.  That was provided he had survived the night.

The older man was not waiting more than two hours before the image of his student came in to view trekking up the hill.  He looked a little battered.

“About time you decide to show your face,” Hiko said when he was within hearing range.

“Master,” Kenshin said, crossing the distance and falling in to a bow before him.  Blood stained his clothes, but the wounds seemed mostly superficial.

“She’s sleeping,” Hiko answered the unasked question. 

“I owe you an even greater debt-”

“Shut up.  You don’t deserve that girl and you and I both know it.  Not as you are now, broken and unstable…”  Hiko had no intention of coddling his former apprentice.  From the way that young woman spoke of him, he was finally beginning to realize the error of his ways. 

“Master,” Kenshin whispered.  “ _Please_ …”

“Have it your way.  You’re the one who is going to have to face her ire when she realizes you’re leaving her again,” Hiko dismissed him, walking away to give them some time to talk.

Kenshin made his way inside and kneeled next to his sleeping wife; reaching a hand out to gently caress her cheek with his bloodied knuckles.

“Kaoru,” he murmured her name, not wanting to startle her awake.

“Hm?”  Kaoru blinked the sleep from her eyes, smiling at the sight of her husband sitting before her.  “ _Kenshin_!”

The red head was almost toppled backwards as the girl flew in to his arms, her shoulders trembling as she tried to contain her tears.

“I was so worried about you,” she whispered.

“I’m sorry to have upset you,” Kenshin replied, his arms wrapping around her tightly.  “Are you alright?”

“Yes, of course, but you…” Kaoru pulled away from him just enough to assess his wounds.

“I’m alright; my battle with Saito was interrupted.  I was able to get away, but I had to delay my escape because I didn’t want anyone following me to where you are,” Kenshin explained.

Kaoru tried to meet his gaze, but he kept his eyes averted.

Silence.

“You’re going back…”

It was not a question.

Kenshin nodded.

“You’re leaving me here?”

“Hiko is the only person I can trust to keep you safe,” Kenshin replied.

“I don’t want you to go,” Kaoru said.

“...and I want to stay with you,” Kenshin agreed.

“ _Then why don’t you_?”

Pained violet eyes met hers.

“You know why, so I can finish this, so we can move on with our lives,” Kenshin said.

“ _Ano_ … what if…” Kaoru whispered.  She was unable to voice her question.  She had told him she wanted to be with him no matter what his choice would be.  She thought she had already come to terms with his decision to fight in the war.  The feeling of her heart shattering determined that to be a lie.

“I _will_ come back for you,” Kenshin promised, drawing her close once more, her head resting on his shoulder as he let her cry out her fears and frustrations.  “Will you wait for me, beloved?”  He whispered in to her ear.

“ _Yes_ ,” Kaoru choked back a sob, her fingers clutching his blood stained clothing.

“Don’t cry,” Kenshin tried to console her, his lips meeting hers.  He had only one thing on his mind at that point. 

“Wait,” Kaoru tried to speak in between kisses, pushing him back lightly with her finger tips against his chest.

“What is it?” Kenshin asked, moving from her lips to kiss her cheeks and forehead.

“Kenshin, I’m with child,” Kaoru murmured, holding her breath as she felt him freeze.  He pulled back to meet her gaze, his eyes wide in surprise.  “I wasn’t sure until a few days ago… I wanted to tell you last night, but I-”

Kaoru was cut off when Kenshin abruptly crushed her to his chest.  He did not say anything for a long time, only held her close.

“Kenshin?”

“I love you,” was his answer, the tone in his voice absolute.

“Just... come back for us,” Kaoru pleaded.

“ _I promise_ …” Kenshin vowed.

* * *

 

The Boshin War would continue for almost exactly six months ending in June of 1869.  The legendary Hitokiri Battousai fought alongside the Chōshū Ishin-Shishi assuring their victory in the war before he disappeared without a trace.

 

* * *

1877

* * *

“Mama, this came for you today!”

Kaoru blinked in surprised as her oldest son, Kenji, came skipping up the trail to their small cottage.  She smiled at him, he so looked like his father.  It had been eight years since Kenshin returned from the war.  As promised, he told her he would take her wherever she had wanted to go.  Being heavily pregnant at that time and unable to travel long distances had put a delay on their departure.

“What is this?”  Kaoru mused, opening the folded letter that was written in an unfamiliar hand.  She bounced their toddler on her lap as she read the message within, Kenji bouncing on his heels as he waited for his mother to read the note out loud.  He was disappointed when she merely folded the paper back up and smiled up at him.  “Why don’t you take your brother for a walk,” she suggested, but by the tone in her voice, Kenji knew there would be no arguing with her.

“Yes mama,” Kenji gave an overly dramatic sigh before grasping Shinta’s smaller hands and leading him through the grassy field next to their home.

“Kenshin,” Kaoru called, walking up behind her husband as he knelt outside washing the laundry.  He smiled over his shoulder at her.  He now wore his hair in a low pony tail at the base of his neck, abandoning his dark blue clothing in favor of a brighter color.

“What is it?”  Kenshin asked.

“I just received this letter in the mail… my father was killed in the war almost six months ago.  I was listed as his last of kin,” Kaoru explained.  “It took them awhile to track me down…”

Kenshin let the clothes sink to the bottom of the wash tub, drying his hands on his hakama before going to his wife and reading the letter for himself.

“An interesting turn of events, that it is,” Kenshin began, studying her down turned gaze.  “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” Kaoru responded, a wistful smile crossing her face.  “I guess he still felt guilty about what happened.”

“As he should, but this is quite a bit of profit he has left to you,” Kenshin mused.

“I don’t know… Taking over the last of his dojos would be a lot of work, and it would mean living in Tokyo,” Kaoru said.

“I once told you that I would follow you wherever you wanted to go,” Kenshin began.  “I meant it.  I’ll be with you whatever you decide and our boys as well.  We’ll go anywhere you want, that we will.”

Kaoru’s eyes welled with tears.  Kenshin had come such a long way from the days of the revolution.  He was starting to believe in his own self-worth, though he still struggled with the mistakes of his past.  She wondered how she had been so lucky to meet him on that cold night all those years ago.  It was as if fate had brought them together.  Perhaps fate was trying to tell her that they had a new story to begin elsewhere.

“Anywhere I want to go?” Kaoru asked.

Kenshin smiled, his eyes warm and full of affection as he drew her closer to him. 

Gently tilting her chin up with his thumb and forefinger... he answered her with a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it. I hope you enjoyed! I will revisit this to fix errors and maybe tweak it up. I may also do a short piece on their lives living in Tokyo. Thanks for your support. I love reading your comments on this story.


End file.
